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Richie Rich’s Christmas Wish movie review

“You’ve really had a wonderful life, Richie. Don’t you see what a shame it’d be to throw it away?”
Yeah, it’s one of those.  I have questions and comments about Richie Rich’s Christmas Wish.  Join me! Read the rest of this entry

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Journey Back to Christmas movie review (2016)

Journey Back to Christmas is probably the worst made-for-TV Christmas movie of 2016.

There, I said it.  Read the rest of this entry

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale movie review

The Up Network presents a classic Christmas tale of an over privileged white girl who maxes out her Christmas card and must take a job walking a dog (to the dog park) in order to get herself the extravagant necklace that will  enable her to keep up with her friends.

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale is truly a movie for the people. Read the rest of this entry

Falling for Christmas / Snow Capped Christmas movie review

Take a dash of Cutting Edge and a smidgen of city shaming and combine with equal parts of Christmas to make the UP network’s Failing for Christmas… or is it Snow Capped Christmas?  Perhaps this Canadian production was released with one title there and another in the United States?  It doesn’t matter.  It’s just your typical Rom Com made for TV Christmas movie schlock.

(I don’t know where that cooking metaphor came from. There’s just some cookie baking in this movie…) Read the rest of this entry

A Christmas Wedding Date movie review

First D.J.: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It’s coooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, that blizzard thing.
Second D.J.: That blizzard – thing. That blizzard – thing. Oh, well, here’s the report! The National Weather Service is calling for a “big blizzard thing!”
First D.J.: Yessss, they are. But you know, there’s another reason why today is especially exciting.
Second D.J.: Especially cold!
First D.J.: Especially cold, okay, but the big question on everybody’s lips…
Second D.J.: – On their chapped lips…
First D.J.: – On their chapped lips, right: Do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow?
Second D.J.: Punxsutawney Phil!
First D.J.: Thats right, woodchuck-chuckers – it’s
[in unison]
Both: GROUNDHOG DAY!

I mean A Christmas Wedding Date.  A totally original movie that is in no way a Groundhog Day ripoff.

Read the rest of this entry

Coast Shaming / City Shaming (CreativeJamie.com Dictionary)

Coast Shamingsnow-christmas-lights-bush1.jpg
Also known as “City Shaming.”
This is the process by which characters in a film (usually a Christmas movie) will impose their belief that small town America is superior in every way to city life.  IE, the way people behave in cities is inferior to the tradition, hospitality and decorating grandeur of rural villages.  This phenomenon is especially prevalent in Hallmark Christmas movies.

 

About the CreativeJamie.com Dictionary:
The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now. I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words. I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

Christmas List movie review (2016)

The Hallmark Channel has really outdone themselves this time.  And by that, I mean this movie has the exact same beats as every one of their Christmas Rom Coms:

  1. underappreciated woman has boyfriend who doesn’t understand her and/or takes her for granted
  2. woman meets a guy who gets her
  3. at end of the movie, woman stays with original guy because “he had first dibs”

OK, I might have made that last one up.

Nevertheless, warm up your clarinet and “just let it happen” as we dig into Christmas List together.

“I want to watch!”

I know you do, you freaky little kid. You’re gross.  We’ll get back to him.  Read the rest of this entry

3 alternatives to the NES Classic Edition

The latest from Nintendo is the NES Classic Edition, a system that exists because they we’re pretty sure you’d buy it.  This adorable, tiny nostalgic grey rectangle comes pre-loaded with 30 NES titles that weren’t exactly picked out of a hat, but there’s certainly some on here that baffled me (Castlevania 2, Excitebike) as much as the ones that were left off (Commando, Contra, etc).  Retailing at $60 USD, that’s $2 a game if you don’t factor in the hardware, but my feeling is that this system isn’t worth the effort.  Here are 3 suggestions as alternatives to the NES Classic Edition.  Read the rest of this entry

Holidaze movie review

Gotta get that International Job, right? Just open that Streetsville store and it’s all yours!  “International Job!”  “Streetsville!”  “Melody!” Christmas! Wait, it’s Thanksgiving? I’m sure this movie is going be about Christmas at some point… Although at the start, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet!

Oh, it’s a Thanksgiving movie? It’s a Thanksgiving movie. Oh.  No wait, it’s both? Read the rest of this entry

Trading Christmas movie review

The world’s most telegraphed story ever unfolds before your eyes (very, very slowly) when you watch Trading Christmas, a movie so obvious it may break you.

Just to be clear, this movie is absolutely NOT The Holiday. Read the rest of this entry

Proper Noun Disorder – a condition explained (a Harry Potter character name exploration)

JK Rowling is generally accepted to be the first diagnosed case of Proper Noun Disorder.

Proper Noun Disorder is a mental condition found in writers of fiction.  This occurs when the patient’s inhabitation of their own fictional world results in naming their characters with easily understood, even ridiculous names in an attempt to subconsciously provide the reader with clues about the character’s personality.  Unfortunately, this simplistic approach leads to character names that not only inform on the character but also make clear that not only does the author have the disorder, but it also serves as a clear indication that the writer thinks the reader is an idiot.

The following character names were examined during Ms. Rowling’s diagnosis:

Read the rest of this entry

Miracle on 34th Street (Quick Reviews)

It’s time to get into the holiday spirit with new episodes of Quick Reviews!  First up:  Miracle on 34th Street (1947)Read the rest of this entry

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