The Future is NOW: Motorized Animal Scooters at the mall

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Friends, I have seen THE FUTURE!  It is out there, vibrant and ripe for the harvesting!  Go to the Paramus Park Mall and ride the motorized animal scooters! 

Turkmenistan Gas Crater of the Karakum Desert (Gate to Hell)

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Sometimes I’ll hear something on WNYC radio that’s so awesome I have to stop what I’m doing and check it out. The Turkmenistan Gas Crater of the Karakum Desert (also known as the Gate to hell) is one of those things.

Snoop Dogg has the answer to all of life’s questions

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Not only is Snoop Dogg pretty much the coolest person to ever live, he also has the answer to all of life’s questions.

“Tutti Frutti” was originally about anal sex

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Whoever you are, you’ve gotta love Little Richard. He brought such power and passion to his music. The Beatles used to copy his signature “woooooo!” The guy practically invented rock and roll… but I didn’t know they brought in lyricists to clean up “Tutti Frutti” and given that it was 50s, you can see why.

Princess Peach Toadstool is not subtle

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When I was a kid, Peach (or Princess Toadstool or whatever the hell you want to call her) was clear: she needed help. When I was a teenager, she was subtle: “I baked a cake.” Right. “Cake.”

I can has Honda?

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PIcking up the car #fail

I Can Has Cheezburger? All Pet Edition

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My pets pose for “I can has” photos, hilarious antics ensue.

Quick Pitch: HBO should do Harry Potter series after Game of Thrones

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I know HBO is busy dominating the short TV season with Game of Thrones, but I’ve got a pitch for ya. Once the race to win the Iron Throne is over, it’s only logical that you find another big project to turn into your next must see series (forgive me if I don’t think Ballers is going to make your subscriber rates jump) and it really ought to be Harry Potter.

McFarland, USA movie review

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McFarland, USA is a Disney Factory Made© inspirational sports movie that will hold your attention during its 129 minute running time and features no surprises at all.

The FP movie review

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There are hardly any movies like The FP. And there are basically no trailers that play like this one, either. I usually talk about trailers in a separate context, but in this case, I have to point out that I completely missed the point the first time I saw the trailer, by which I mean I got this movie’s genre wrong. You know how Tommy Wiseau retroactively says The Room is a comedy and not a drama? This movie is actually a comedy that is played (and shot) as a straight up drama and it works perfectly. Additional praise to follow.

“Come urinate with us, Danny – forever and ever…”

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There’s also bathroom construction happening, so there’s limited places to relieve oneself, which brought me to the men’s room to see to twin boys who couldn’t have been more than five tag teeming a urinal.

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel quick movie review

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The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel stars Richard Gere, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Dev Patel, Bill Nighy and blah blah blah, fart fart fart. I hope you like watching these actors perform, because this movie has little else to offer.