Vegan at Animal Kingdom

I have a problem with Animal Kingdom in concept (which I’m sure I’ll address when I do my Things to Improve Animal Kingdom piece) as essentially, it’s a zoo, and I don’t care for zoos. On the other hand, I do like Thrill Rides, and as anyone whose rode it knows, Expedition Everest is a lot of fun, so I can’t bypass the park all together, and a brotha’s gotta eat. Let’s take a look at what a vegan can have at the Kingdom! Continue reading

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This is the End (movie review)

If you were singing any of the lyrics from The Doors classic, "The End," which simply begins, "This is the end end," the title of today’s film, you may want to center on one particular line, "Can you picture what will be?" If you haven’t seen this movie yet, you can try to imagine what imagery you’ll see in this flick, but don’t bother – just go see it.

This is the End features tons of laughs, a bang or two that made the audience jump and just a fun time at the movies over all. It’s raunchy, raw and in many ways, a by the numbers story from a premise I don’t think I’ve ever seen in any medium, but it’s truly a flick that is worth the price of admission..

This now ends the spoiler free portion of the review. I’ll give you the score now: This is the End receives an 8 out of 10 for reasons I won’t explain in the spoiler free review. Read on for additional discussion! Continue reading

Entertainment Weekly sure knows how to compare tv shows

And by that, I mean Entertainment Weekly has no idea how to compare tv shows.  Check this out:

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What the hell does American Horror Story have to do with Duck Dynasty?  Or The Big Bang Theory have to do with Elementary?  That’s four separate genres in just two comparisons!

That is week, EW – go back to you fluff movie previews.

CreativeJamie.com Dictionary: watchability

watchability

To be watahable – to neither entertain nor bore the viewer.

The Guilt Trip wasn’t good, but it had watchability.Yeah, ‘watchability’ just hits the spot for movies and TV shows that aren’t good but aren’t so bad that you have to turn them off five minutes after they start – some programs just have watchability. We started saying this word after Coors Light proclaimed it had drinkability, which is right on: it’s not good beer, but one can drink it and complain only a small amount.

About the CreativeJamie.com Dictionary
:
The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now. I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words. I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

Questions people asked after seeing The Guilt Trip (movie review)

We watched The Guilt Trip last night and we weren’t exactly blown away. I’d say it’s like that Coors Light ad campaign – this movie has watchability. Anyway, here are some questions we imagined theater goers were asking each other after the movie was over.

"Do moms nag? Is ‘Jewish mothers’ a thing?"
We didn’t say the questions weren’t sarcastic.
The Guilt Trip lays it on thick – like a mason applying wet concrete with a trowel thick. If this movie was any more by the numbers, you’d need a water color book and a paint brush.

"Why is Barbara Streisand doing a Jackie Mason impressoin?"
I get the impression that the director kept yelling at Streisand, "More Jewish!" I’m surprised she never commanded Seth Rogen to bring her a bagel and lox. Again, this movie lays it on thick – New York City cream cheese portion styled thick.

"How’d they make a Seth Rogen movie that’s not funny in any way?"
Yeah, this movie is not funny, and it seems like it’s supposed to be an unlikely buddy comedy, but there’s no way around it – the movie isn’t funny. I guess Rogen can’t play off himself, and his character is an organic chemist, so he’s probably trying to dial back his wacky factor… but then, why hire Seth Rogen in the first place?

"How’d they make a Barbara Streisand movie where she doesn’t sing even a little?"
The only thing that makes less sense than making a Seth Rogen movie where he doesn’t get to be funny is making a Barbara Streisand movie where she doesn’t sing a single word.

"Was half of the movie not scripted?"
Maybe that’s why this movie was made – all of the car scenes were filmed in a studio in front of a green screen and they didn’t have to pay a screen writer because the movie feels like it has a synopsis but no actual script.

"What’s with that last shot?"
The last scene is two people walking away from each other in an airport and the director seemed to be sitting there that day and think, "Oh shit… is the movie over? I have no idea what to do now from a visual standpoint." So the characters walk out of the shot in opposite directions (because the scene dictates this) and the camera just cranes away from where they were standing. It is awkward as hell.

For all it’s flaws, the movie is watchable, but it’s not especially entertaining and certainly not memorable. I give a The Guilt Trip a 5.5 out of 10. While it didn’t put me to sleep, it just barely had a structure and has no rewatch value at all.

Vegan at the Magic Kingdom

Oh Magic Kingdom, with your mountains and your spectacle and your castles… it doesn’t get much better than the Magic Kingdom, does it? And when it comes to being vegan, there are actually options! Nothing to get crazy over, but options!

Perhaps the fact that there are options at all is cause enough for celebration.

Around the park
If you poke around, you may come across some random fruit, fruit cups and, believe it or not, individually packaged pickles. They’re on the big side, but quite refreshing and tasty.

Main Street USA
My understanding is that the frozen fruit bars and popcorn found here and throughout the park is good to go, vegan style, but it might be worth digging into. For the fruit bars, it’s as simple as reading the labels, but you might have to talk to someone about the popcorn. Generally, though, I think mass popcorn is usually fine as no one uses actual butter on popcorn anymore – it’s just oil and salt, I think…

Plaza Ice Cream Parlor
If you’re facing the castle, the Plaza Ice Cream Parlor is the last store on your right at the end of Main Street. The last time I checked, they had Tofuti products and they were happy to whip out their allergy/ingredients book.

Tomorrow Land
I would guess the pretzels they sell around Tomorrow Land (the Lunching Pad?) are OK because… ya know, they’re pretzels. Although sometimes, they only have these pretzels that are filled with cheese, which probably have some dairy in them. (I say ‘probably’ because, for real, how much actual dairy is someone going to stuff inside pretzel filling grade cheese? I would guess not much, but probably some.)

Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe
They’ve got the veggie burger hookup here, although you’ll have to ask for a vegan bun or just forgo the bun all together. We’re big fans of the fixins bar – we’re fairly certain the mushrooms are vegan, but you might want to ask. The veggie burger is nothing special, but it’ll do.

Liberty Square
Check out Liberty Square and it’s PLETHORA of options!

Liberty Tree Tavern
You’ll need a reservation to eat here. We had the veggie burger with vegan tzatziki sauce (they put the word ‘vegan’ on the menu!), which came with sweet potato fries, which were some of the best sweet potato fries I’ve ever had. The veggie burger was nothing special and the tzatziki sauce didn’t do anything for me, but at least they tried. (That’s not to say the veggie burger or tzatziki sauce were bad, they just weren’t especially flavorful in my opinion. I think Dr. Girlfriend enjoyed them much more than I did.)

Columbia Harbor House
This is where it’s at. I always go for the hummus sandwich, but you might want to inquire about the vegan credentials of the broccoli-slaw it comes with. They also have a vegetarian chili that’s very tasty.

Frontier Land
Whoa there with your giant turkey legs and what not! Apparently, there is a Mexican option that’s available seasonally, but I’ve never had it. It’s available right across from…

Pecos Bill Tall Tale Inn and Cafe
Like Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe, it’s a veggie burger and again, you’ll have to ask for a vegan bun or just forgo the bun all together. Same fixens, same deal.

Well, that’s about all I know of. Drop a comment if you have any corrections or additions!

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The Amazing Spider-Man (movie review)

If you make an average to below average action movie, you would be wise to avoid putting the word ‘amazing’ in the title – such is the fate of The Amazing Spider-Man.

I should first explain that I’m not a big fan of the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man films. The first one is… fine, I guess. I liked the scene where the Green Goblin made Spider-Man choose between saving innocents and Mary Jane and we got that really awesome reflection of the options in Spidey’s eyes. The second one was… OK. There were some cool action scenes, but overall, I wasn’t fine. The third one was just an all out cluster @!#?@!. Right, Q-bert?

Every character in this movie have severe emotional problems on some level and their actions are baffling to say the least. Also, despite some really cool action, the movie is boring and the climax is uninteresting.

Anyway, now that you know where I’m coming from, I had neither high hopes or expectations for this new Spider-Man. I liked Andrew Garfield in The Social Network and he seemed like a fine choice to take over for Maguire as Spider‑Man and Emma Stone – doesn’t everybody love Emma Stone? Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben and Sally Field as Aunt May? Uhm, yes please! Still, despite this movie’s star power and action, it’s kinda boring. Here’s just a few reasons – and I should mention there are spoilers below, but at this point, I assume you saw the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies, or at least the first one, so they’re not all real spoilers. Continue reading