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You’ve never seen graffiti like THIS before

I’ve seen a lot of graffiti in my time wandering the Earth. There’s the artisanal masters who deliver their gifts to us for free via spray paint or marker, the “for a good time call” traditionalists, but now I’ve come across an entirely new genre: the Jack Handy Deep Thoughts omagers. I didn’t see this coming. Man, this person really hates summer – or at least humidity. Good to know.

Please resume your lives.

PS: I think this is my best click bait title EVER.

Beware the Ides of March!

Lisa Simpson ain’t just whistling Dixie.

I’m tired of the lousy Smarch weather we’ve had to put up with here in the greater NYC area.  I just wish daylight savings time coincided with warmer weather, but it doesn’t.  Oh well – guess we’ll have to tough it out for a few more weeks!  I’m sorry to resort to talking about the weather, but I would really like to go outside at some point and not completely freeze my ass off!  The cabin fever has set in and I am in full freak-out mode!

The Three Things You Need When Your Car is Stuck in the Snow

I think it goes without saying for anyone living in the continental United States that this has been the winter from hell and getting your car stuck in the snow has become par for the course. I’ve been through this several times in my life, but this winter, the snow has been relentless and I’ve had the opportunity (the unfortunate opportunity) to test the various suggestions and now I’m hear to tell you what works and what’s a waste of time. Read the rest of this entry

Crazy weather here in greater NYC

The weather in the greater New York City area has been crazy for the last few months. Here is a brief sample of what I mean.

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Over 60 degrees in December in the New York City area is clearly a sign of the end of days.  Or global warming.  Whichever’s funnier.

Everything on Weather.com Frightens Me

I’m only giving you the small version (below) of yesterday’s Weather.com news feed because the large version is too scary! I’ve forgotten what it was, but story number 2 was so scary that they had to replace it with a different story so their top four stories weren’t scaring their users so badly that they turned off their computers and ran out of the room screaming. Look at this: scary sea monsters, negligent humans, damaging storms… it’s all gloom and doom! All I wanted to know was if it was going to rain in the afternoon or not – instead, Weather.com scared a year off my life!

Sandy and now Athena: Bitches be trippin' (Storms are women?)

Many people still don’t have power, but the recovery from Hurricane Sandy is underway… except now here comes Winter Storm Athena. That’s just great.

As if it wasn’t already cold enough, now it’s snowing. Frankly, this is bullshit. People without heat and power were struggling enough, and now they get this? This is not cool. Well, I guess it’s cold, is what it is, but it sucks. Sucks ass.

(Yeah, I know the profanity level has been going up in recent weeks, but it’s stressful around here. It’s not an excuse, but it is the reason.)

What I’d really like to know is:

1. Why do we name storms after people? That seems like it’s just begging for trouble… like little Sandy getting the crap kicked out of her at school…
2. We’ve had two storms in the last two weeks – why name them both after women?

I don’t know the answer to these questions I’ve posed any more than I know the answers to why some people are still waiting on power and heat or how bad Athena will be.

Everybody stay safe, and if you see Mother Nature, give her the finger for me.
(Oh, is that why they name the storms after women? Mother Nature? What about Hurricane Floyd? Or "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair? Holy shit, my website is stupid.)

Storm’s a-comin’

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You can always tell when a big storm is coming just by the state of the water aisle:  if it’s bare, beware!  (That little rhyme works for safe sex, too!)
Anyway, be safe, stock up on water and stay inside.

Musings (May 29, 2012)

Just a few random musings on a sleepy afternoon…
Read the rest of this entry

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