LIFETIME has done it: they are the winner of the First Annual CreativeJamie.com Worst Made for TV Christmas Movie Award. Congratulations! YOU EARNED IT.
A Very Merry Toy Store is actually about three toy stores – not one, but three! And, I suppose they’re merry… I mean, none of them are especially merry, so this should set the tone for what sort of movie this is.
So, what’s the plot? It’s a SUPER LAZY retelling of You’ve Got Mail (though not really Shop Around the Corner). We’ve got two businesses going head to head, but in an effort to give the audience a flatter villain and to decrease the tension between Mario Lopez and Melissa Joan Hart, there’s a THIRD toy store run by a greedy businessman BECAUSE OF COURSE THERE IS.
If you’re wondering what happens between Mario Lopez and Melissa Joan Hart, well, cue a Simpsons reference:
There’s all sorts of other things going on. Mario Cantone improvises some funny stuff, Brian Dennehy can barely bother to stand up AND I DON’T BLAME HIM. The dialogue, the photography, the editing, the terrible green screen, the bizarre sled race that stole its pacing from The Phantom Menace, that awful comp shot…
This movie is so bad it’s good. It’s one of those, but more in a “nobody gives a shiz” sort of way rather than a “nobody knows what they’re doing.” I can’t wait to watch it again!