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Tales from the Grocery Store

I can’t even begin to list all the weird crap I see at the supermarket, but I’m going to start trying. Read the rest of this entry

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6 nitpicks of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (movie review)

We finally got around to The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and… hm. It was good – not great, but certainly good. It’s complicated, but I can at least say it’s better than the first one. Follow me after the jump if you dare – it’s going to be all spoilers, all the time!

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All the Spider-Man movies reviewed!

Since we’re all gearing up to see The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (for better or worse), I thought now would be a good time to check in with the Tobey Maguire trilogy and the first episode of the reboot.

For those that are pressed for time, I’ll just let you know the scores here and if you’re interested in more details, just click the movie title for the full review.

I gave the first Spider-Man movie a 7.8 out of ten,  and Spider-Man 2 came in with a nearly identical score of 7.5 out of 10.  Finally, Spider-Man 3, that which is so loathsome to so many, clocked in at a meager 5 out of 10 because that movie kinda sucks.  Then, The Amazing Spider-Man reboot didn’t exactly get the franchise started with a roar by earning just a 6 out of 10.  Finally, if you give a crap, here’s my review of Spider-Man:  Turn off the Dark. Read the rest of this entry

Movies Coming Soon: it’s all sequels and franchises!

movie-postersUsing this magical tool called the internet, I’ve compiled a list of movies that are coming out over the next two or so years that are either sequels, franchises or both… and I say without any hesitation: this list will amaze you.
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Spider-Man 3 (movie review)

http://youtu.be/PCmMLfXdURs
I know, I know; Spider-man 3 is the one everybody hates: the Hobgoblin’s snowboard, Peter Parker’s emo hair and dancing, the lackluster portrayal of Venom…  And you’re not wrong, these are generally bad things, but they’re not what’s killing the movie.  (These things are more akin to covering a pile of crap with crap sprinkles. ) Read the rest of this entry

Spider-Man 2 (movie review)

So, Spider-man 2 is, uhm, I dunno. It’s fine, I guess. Spider-Man’s in it, that’s good. There’s some cool fight scenes. The story… is… uhm… OK. It’s OK. It’s a little on the telenovela side for my taste, but there are worse super hero movies, that’s for sure. Read the rest of this entry

5 things to love/hate about Spider-Man (movie review)

This movie is everything that The Amazing Spider-Man wasn’t; it’s full of charm, drama, and characters you care about. It’s not perfect, but 2002’s Spider-man is certainly good enough. Here’s five things to love and five things to hate about Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire’s take on ol’ web head.
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Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark Broadway review

Oh Spider-Man, you’re so friendly and neighborhood…ee. Our relationship has never been great, but this… This makes The Amazing Spider-Man look like Citizen Cane. The “this” in question is Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, which closes on January 4th here in New York City. Read the rest of this entry

The Amazing Spider-Man (movie review)

the-amazing-spider-man-movie-posterIf you make an average to below average action movie, you would be wise to avoid putting the word ‘amazing’ in the title – such is the fate of The Amazing Spider-Man.

I should first explain that I’m not a big fan of the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man films. The first one is… fine, I guess. I liked the scene where the Green Goblin made Spider-Man choose between saving innocents and Mary Jane and we got that really awesome reflection of the options in Spidey’s eyes. The second one was… OK. There were some cool action scenes, but overall, I wasn’t fine. The third one was just an all out cluster @!#?@!. Right, Q-bert?

q-bert

That a boy.

Every character in this movie have severe emotional problems on some level and their actions are baffling to say the least. Also, despite some really cool action, the movie is boring and the climax is uninteresting.

Anyway, now that you know where I’m coming from, I had neither high hopes or expectations for this new Spider-Man. I liked Andrew Garfield in The Social Network and he seemed like a fine choice to take over for Maguire as Spider‑Man and Emma Stone – doesn’t everybody love Emma Stone? Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben and Sally Field as Aunt May? Uhm, yes please! Still, despite this movie’s star power and action, it’s kinda boring. Here’s just a few reasons – and I should mention there are spoilers below, but at this point, I assume you saw the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies, or at least the first one, so they’re not all real spoilers. Read the rest of this entry

Daily GIF 5/31/13: Spider-Man

Poor Spider-Man is always getting the short end of the stick from his friends, his family, the press – not to mention the bad guys. But at least this little boy realizes everything ol’ Web Head has done for us.

Sometimes, a hug is as good a sorry as any.

Spider-Man pogo stick, because…

Because kids don’t have enough ways to hurt themselves these days?

spider-man-pogo-stick

I know that sticking a known brand on a product is an easy way to sell something, but this seems like an odd paring.  The Amazing Spider-Man and pogo sticks go together like… uhm…  a spare tire and a piano. Read the rest of this entry

Amazing Spider-Man Toys look amazingly crappy

I’m no toy export, but these Amazing Spider-Man toys don’t look like much fun – or make any sense, for that matter. Read the rest of this entry

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