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Winchester movie review

Whenever I’m out of town and I have a few hours to kill, I go to the movies. In Jackie Brown, Max Cherry response when asked what movie he’s going to see, “Whatever start soon and looks good.” The thing is, those two choices seem to be mutually exclusive. In fact, I would go as far as to say that whatever start soon is almost never good.

Hence, I saw Winchester one fine afternoon.

And it was not good.

Now, this is hardly news. Let me explain: there’s a good chance that you never saw an ad for Winchester. Neither did I. I think the studio knew they had to turd on their hands and they decided to release this movie in February and not waste a bunch of money on marketing. So just the fact that this movie was opening and I never heard of it was not a good sign. Then, the trailers before the movie were also for mostly cheap-looking horror movies and a remake of Overboard. (I knew I was in trouble the second that woman brought that carpet cleaning machine onto that boat.)

But to be fair, Winchester is not entirely flawed. It has the basic parts of a movie, they’re just not all up to snuff. It’s the kind of movie that’s analogous to an cheap car repair: yeah my car runs, but the engine is noisy, only the left turn signal works, people have to do the breaking procedure from The Simpsons to get the car to stop. But technically, it’s still a car.

In case you’re not familiar with the subject, Winchester is about the house built by the heiress to the Winchester Repeating Arms Company and the 24-hour construction that constantly expanded the house in illogical ways: stair cases that went nowhere, doors that open to no rooms or did not open at all and so on. In the film, The rooms are built to help the spirits of the victims of Winchester rifles move on from this world to the next and the rooms are built as replicas of the rooms in which they died, because apparently there was a lot of indoor rifle fire in the 19th century.

Look, this movie is not great. A lot of the rules are underdeveloped, there’s some Yoda Lightning in it, the pace drags in a few places and the villain is less than flushed out. If you’re a big fan of the horror genre, you might like this movie and enjoy a few of the jump-scares, but Winchester is nothing special and I would say most people don’t need to see this movie.

Jason X movie review (Quick Reviews)

I won’t beat around the proverbial bush – Jason X is a cheap looking, stupid movie with virtually no redeemable qualities. Enjoy!

You can use this Halloween link to see all of the scary movie reviews, including complete coverage of the Nightmare on Elm Street series!  Or, check out all of the Halloween episodes of Quick Reviews here!

PLEASE subscribe to the NEW YouTube channel! Subscribing to the show on YouTube helps get the episodes placed higher in YouTube search results and therefore helps more people find out the show exists. It’s a great way to support the show and it’s FREE! If you’re logged into any Google account (Gmail, YouTube, whatnot) you’re good to go. Thanks again!

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday movie review (Quick Reviews)

Jason Voorhees is back in Jason goes to Hell: The Final Friday in a movie that contains no scenes that take place in hell… and yet, the movie works.  It’s not really worthy of mention in the annals of horror movies nor is it even the best Friday the 13th movie, but it’s serviceable.  Check out the video and you’ll see what I mean.

You can use this Halloween link to see all of the scary movie reviews, including complete coverage of the Nightmare on Elm Street series!  Or, check out all of the Halloween episodes of Quick Reviews here!

Thanks for watching and don’t forget to subscribe to the NEW YouTube channel! Subscribing to the show on YouTube helps get the episodes placed higher in YouTube search results and therefore helps more people find out the show exists. It’s a great way to support the show and it’s FREE! If you’re logged into any Google account (Gmail, YouTube, whatnot) you’re good to go. Thanks again!

Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child movie review

There are movies like Dream Master, which could easily be fixed, and then there’s the next sequel in the Nightmare on Elm Street parade of films, The Dream Child.  This one just blows in a general way.  Read the rest of this entry

Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master movie review

New Line Cinema pumped out the Nightmare on Elm Street movies with stunning regularity during the 80s because frankly, they made money and were the financial engine behind the studio.  It’s surprising, then, that the trailer for A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master has the balls to ask you how long it’s been since you’ve been to Elm Street since the previous installment had come out just the year before.

Let that set the tone for what follows.
Read the rest of this entry

Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors movie review

a-nightmare-on-elm-street-3-dream-warriors-behind-the-scenes-002

“Welcome to primetime, bitch!”

In 2008, Christopher Nolan asked, “How many good third movies in a franchise can people name?”  This one.  This is the one!  Sure, Freddy’s Revenge was garbage, but man, did Dream Warriors get it right.   Read the rest of this entry

Hollow Man movie review

Hollow_Man_water

“In the rain/The pavement shines like silver…”

It was the year 2000.  Some said it was the start of a new millennium.  Others argued that there was no year zero, so calendar worshippers would have to wait till next year to celebrate.  As it happens, invisible man fans will still have to wait for a good movie featuring this concept, because Hollow Man ain’t it.  Read the rest of this entry

OctoBOO is almost here!

trick or treating

“This is our formal request that you surrender your candy willingly… or we can cordially invite you to SMELL OUR FEET.”

October 1st is right around the corner, so I thought I’d get the Halloween logo up a little early.  Once the calendar gives September the bird, we’re in an all month every-day-is-Halloween party featuring scary movie reviews and what have you.  It’s going to be spooky-scary!  Read the rest of this entry

OctoBOO is coming! (Halloween movie mania!)

creative-jamie-header-halloween

I know, I know, I know!  Labor day was only yesterday, but here at CreativeJamie.com, Halloween starts on October 1st and runs ALL MONTH LONG!  Hence, we’re getting ready now.  Here’s a quick preview of what we’re covering in just a few weeks!  Read the rest of this entry

Freddy vs. Jason (movie review)

This movie has no business being any good, but Freddy vs. Jason is entertaining – at least, it’s entertaining if you grew up with these monsters. At 97 minutes, there’s no bloat to complain about, so, still to this day, FVJ remains one of the most pleasant surprises I can recall at the movies. Read the rest of this entry

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (movie review)

What. The. Hell. Happend?

How quickly can the wheels fall off a franchise? Like they say in baseball, “Your team is only as good as your next day’s starting pitcher,” and in the case of Nightmare movies, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge is the sort of dude who just throws the ball right down the middle at a pedestrian 85 miles per hour and gets annihilated in the first inning. (Baseball, October… synergy!) Read the rest of this entry

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984 movie review)

The classic A Nightmare on Elm Street, like many slasher films, was made for just $1.8 million dollars and created a franchise that scared the bejesus out of me as a little kid. Nothing is scarier than Freddy Krueger (the immortal Robert Englund, who I also remember from the original V tv series), the villain who waits to attack you until you’re at your weakest – when you’re asleep! (Spoiler, Freddy invades your dreams and kills you in your sleep. Betcha didn’t know that.) Read the rest of this entry

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