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Come Dance with Me movie review

He’s a big city banker and she’s a… big city dance instructor.  Small towns are great and big cities are stupid, but when these two dance, the sparks will fly in the Hallmark Channel’s COME DANCE WITH ME.  Wait, is he doing an English accent now?  WTF is going on?  Holy Potato Balls, is he still doing it?

So… yeah.  Come Dance With Me is a movie that exists starring Andrew McCarthy (who’s still got it, by the way) because he’s either out of money or bored and features… other actors in a technically sound yet lazily written made for TV Christmas movie because we keep watching them. Read the rest of this entry

Merry Kissmas movie review (2015)

Merry Kissmiss is a 2015 Ion Television debut of the Standard Christmas RomCom variety in the sense that it steals plot points from other movies and invents new, horrible ones of its own.  The difference here is that instead of stealing from a Christmas movie, they stole the opening premise from Serendipity. Let’s discuss. Read the rest of this entry

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale movie review

The Up Network presents a classic Christmas tale of an over privileged white girl who maxes out her Christmas card and must take a job walking a dog (to the dog park) in order to get herself the extravagant necklace that will  enable her to keep up with her friends.

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale is truly a movie for the people. Read the rest of this entry

Christmas List movie review (2016)

The Hallmark Channel has really outdone themselves this time.  And by that, I mean this movie has the exact same beats as every one of their Christmas Rom Coms:

  1. underappreciated woman has boyfriend who doesn’t understand her and/or takes her for granted
  2. woman meets a guy who gets her
  3. at end of the movie, woman stays with original guy because “he had first dibs”

OK, I might have made that last one up.

Nevertheless, warm up your clarinet and “just let it happen” as we dig into Christmas List together.

“I want to watch!”

I know you do, you freaky little kid. You’re gross.  We’ll get back to him.  Read the rest of this entry

Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade movie review

Love-at-the-Thanksgiving-Day-Parade-Hallmark-Channel

With a title like Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade… what could this movie be about?

Yeah, they’re not exactly burying the lead.  Read the rest of this entry

And So It Goes movie review

and-so-it-goes

What is the rubric upon which And So It Goes is to be judged against?  I’m going to say similar geriatric RomComs, and since Diane Keaton is in this flick, Something’s Gotta Give is a fair comparison, and by that standard… I guess this movie doesn’t suck donkey dong.

I guess.  Read the rest of this entry

What if (movie review)

Watch the trailer if you will, but be it known that is an AWFUL representation of What If and the complex issues it represents.  Or, this ain’t yo mama’s RomCom.  Read the rest of this entry

What’s Your Number? (movie review)

It’s Anna Faris (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) and the Captain himself, Chris Evans, together, in a comedy! That sounds promising! And yet, despite its somewhat unique premise, What’s Your Number? is a by the numbers twenty first century romantic comedy. (You see what I did there?) Read the rest of this entry

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