Dr. Girlfriend is a lady that knows what I like – in this case, it’s a freaking Star Wars Lightsaber Pen that lights up both at the touch of a button and when you write with it! What more could you ask for? (A full sized working lightsaber is not a reasonable request, but I hear ya.) Well, the pen has decent detailing, too. Without checking a Star Wars encyclopedia (trust me, such things exist), this appears to be modeled after Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber as seen in Return of the Jedi, except it doesn’t have that giant cumbersome rectangular activation switch that Luke’s has. Honestly, how are you supposed to protect the galaxy from evil with that freaking thing in your way? Anyway, you gotta love that attention to detail! I’m still getting used to it, but so far, I’m having a great time playing around.
In today’s post, I promise you Star Wars! I promise you smack talk about members of Congress! And most of all, I promise you a discussion the newest word in the dictionary, selfie.
It’s Bib Fortuna! You know, from Return of the Jedi! Oh wait…
Wait, no it’s not, it’s just a squash or something.
How sad is it that I know that dude’s name?
In my view, you don’t want your first and last name to start with the same letter or rhyme, but Chris Christie, who essentially has the same name for both his first and last name takes it to the next level. And for some reason, every time he opens his mouth, all I hear is: “Ha mongo bargon wan chee kospah, ol Jedi. Chone manya weesh asha beecho.”*
If you haven’t already sussed this out for yourself, my opinion of the governor is fairly low. I’m just never going to get along with anyone who takes helicopter rides to little league games, which supposedly don’t cost tax payers any money somehow – oh, because fuel and helicopter maintenance is free and we usually train our guys to fly homeland security missions by visiting children’s sporting events. (I forgot all that!) Of course, his approval rating was at 53% in mid January, and if you’re over 50%, you must be doing something right… I would have thought it’d be lower (it was below 50% during the summer), so what do I know? Apparently, not a damn thing.
Wait, there is one thing I do know! Chris Christie is running for president in 2016. He’s made no announcement, but he’s done two things that are just as good as putting a “Christie 2016” sign on his front lawn.
Christie vetoed NJ’s Gay Marriage bill
Vetoing gay marriage was genius political move for Christie and his Republican presidential nominee aspirations. Now, he can say he vetoed gay marriage in his state to the sect of his party that hates that and he can tell the sect of his party that are big on civil liberties and state’s rights that he turned it over to the people in referendum (which he’s suggested for this November) to decide the best course for the state. It will likely pass, so he can tell gay republicans no harm, no foul. Talk about having your cake and eating it, too.
Christie lowered NJ income tax
Proposing to lower income tax is another brilliant move for pleasing those he’ll need to win over to get the nomination in 2016. Whether it happens or not, he’ll at least be able to say he tried to lowered taxes and ease the burden on New Jersey’s citizens, but frankly, income tax doesn’t mean squat to people who pay them in NJ – it’s property taxes that kills the NJ tax payer, and his budget proposal “provides less money for direct property tax relief than the year before.”
So there you have it – Christie is running for president in 2016 – I guarantee it.
*“There will be no bargain, young Jedi. I shall enjoy watching you die.”
more Observations at creativejamie.com/category/observations/
Ugh, let’s get this over with.
If you’re old enough to remember when the original Star Wars Trilogy was re-released in theaters in the 1990s, then George Lucas mucking with his movies is nothing new to you. I try to keep in mind that the man himself once said, “Movies aren’t finished, they’re abandoned,” and I can totally understand that sort of mantra, but at some point, it’s time to let go. From what I’ve been able to find splattered across this here thingy we call the internet, here are all of the changes to the Star Wars saga in all their pointless or horrible glory.
THE PHANTOM MENACE
- Yoda is digital now… I’m kind of OK with this one – wasn’t a big fan of the puppet’s look in this movie.
A NEW HOPE:
- They changed the noise Obi-Wan makes when he scares the Sand People away.
- When R2-D2 is hiding from the Sand People and Obi-Wan takes off his hood and says, “Come here, my little friend,” R2 is hiding behind a lot more rocks than he used to be… and I have no idea how he managed to wheel himself into that position
- Greedo still shoots first, but they changed the timing again – so it’s almost like they shoot at the same time, but Greedo is the worst shot in the galaxy and has never fired a weapon ever and has no interest in claiming the reward money from Jabba the Hut that he just said he wants so bad – otherwise, he could have shot him before he said, “Going somewhere, Solo?” Didn’t George Lucas take any basic logic courses in college?
RETURN OF THE JEDI
- The shot of Jabba’s Palace’s door is different for no reason I understand.
- Wicket blinks now… I used to spend a lot of time wondering why the the Ewoks didn’t blink.
- More Tie fighters show up during the beginning of the battle over Endor when Lando says, “Fighters coming in!”
- I’m actually OK with this one – in this case, the more then merrier.
And finally, the most horrifying of all:
Darth Vader Yells, “Noooooo!” before throwing the Emperor.
This is fucking garbage. It just sounds bad… ugh. It’s terrible. Nuff said.