QUICK REVIEWS is back in action! This time, I’m taking a look at The Departed, another action crime drama from Martin Scorsese. Man, nobody does mob movies like Scorsese. The screenplay is by William Monahan (this is probably his most famous movie) and starring… well, everybody. The Departed stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, and Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen, Ray Winstone, Vera Farmiga, Anthony Anderson and Alec Baldwin. You think they got enough stars? I bet a lot (half?) of that $90 million dollar budget went to salaries! It’s not Scorsese’s best movie, but I’m a fan of The Departed.
That’s a good question. What is Scorsese’s best movie? Goodfellas?
Clark Greg and Jennifer Grey star in The Road to Christmas, a movie with the most anti Italian bias you’re ever likely to encounter on TV. Read the rest of this entry
He’s a big city banker and she’s a… big city dance instructor. Small towns are great and big cities are stupid, but when these two dance, the sparks will fly in the Hallmark Channel’s COME DANCE WITH ME. Wait, is he doing an English accent now? WTF is going on? Holy Potato Balls, is he still doing it?
So… yeah. Come Dance With Me is a movie that exists starring Andrew McCarthy (who’s still got it, by the way) because he’s either out of money or bored and features… other actors in a technically sound yet lazily written made for TV Christmas movie because we keep watching them. Read the rest of this entry
I can’t find a trailer, but the whole damn movie is all over YouTube. At least it is for now.
It turns out that the Hallmark Channel has a subcategory for Christmas movies: Christmas mystery movies. The thing is, Finding Father Christmas is completely and totally short on mystery. Shockingly, it does makeup for this with heart. Read the rest of this entry
I have a million questions about Wish Upon A Christmas. And here they are! Read the rest of this entry
Journey Back to Christmas is probably the worst made-for-TV Christmas movie of 2016.
There, I said it. Read the rest of this entry
The Up Network presents a classic Christmas tale of an over privileged white girl who maxes out her Christmas card and must take a job walking a dog (to the dog park) in order to get herself the extravagant necklace that will enable her to keep up with her friends.
A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale is truly a movie for the people. Read the rest of this entry
Take a dash of Cutting Edge and a smidgen of city shaming and combine with equal parts of Christmas to make the UP network’s Failing for Christmas… or is it Snow Capped Christmas? Perhaps this Canadian production was released with one title there and another in the United States? It doesn’t matter. It’s just your typical Rom Com made for TV Christmas movie schlock.
(I don’t know where that cooking metaphor came from. There’s just some cookie baking in this movie…) Read the rest of this entry
First D.J.: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It’s coooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, that blizzard thing.
Second D.J.: That blizzard – thing. That blizzard – thing. Oh, well, here’s the report! The National Weather Service is calling for a “big blizzard thing!”
First D.J.: Yessss, they are. But you know, there’s another reason why today is especially exciting.
Second D.J.: Especially cold!
First D.J.: Especially cold, okay, but the big question on everybody’s lips…
Second D.J.: – On their chapped lips…
First D.J.: – On their chapped lips, right: Do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow?
Second D.J.: Punxsutawney Phil!
First D.J.: Thats right, woodchuck-chuckers – it’s
Both: GROUNDHOG DAY!
I mean A Christmas Wedding Date. A totally original movie that is in no way a Groundhog Day ripoff.
DON’T WATCH THIS TRAILER. IT GIVES AWAY TOO MUCH!!!
I saw the trailer for Hacksaw Ridge and just assumed, “It’s another Clint Eastwood World War II movie.” It’s not. This is a Mel Gibson joint and frankly, that doesn’t mean much to me because neither The Passion of the Christ or Apocalypto peaked my interest and Braveheart came out twenty years ago. It all happened by chance – I just picked whatever movie was playing at a time when I was free to hit the movies while I was traveling. “I like Andrew Garfield,” I thought. “I’m sure this’ll be the inspirational sports version of a war movie.”
Hacksaw Ridge is many things, but for the faint of heart, it is NOT.