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Hell and Back movie review

 

hell-and-back-movie

“I can stick this up your nose to the hilt OR you can watch Hell and Back.”
“…I’m thinking.”

I can’t remember the last time I read a blurb about a movie and was this wrong. The Robot Chicken production company is making a stop motion movie starring Bob Odenkirk and Mila Kunis?!?  And featuring Susan Sarandon?  Yes please!

And then I saw the movie.  Read the rest of this entry

Jupiter Ascending movie review

For a movie called Jupiter Ascending, there sure are a lot of scenes where Jupiter (played by the talented but miscast Mila Kunis) is falling.  That’s a fairly decent metaphor for this movie.   Here are three points on this failed attempt to start a franchise. Read the rest of this entry

Mila Kunis is doing commercials for Jim Beam for some reason

So does Mila Kunis work at the Jim Bean plant now?

I presume the reason Mila Kunis is doing Jim Bean commercials is that they dumped a big pile of money on her front lawn, but maybe she likes the product, too… I dunno. There’s another spot where she’s walking around the bourbon barrel storage area and there’s all these sleeping bears, because bears like honey and now they’re putting honey in some of their bourbon, and bourbon needs to age before you drink it, and bears hibernate… synergy! Read the rest of this entry

Ted (movie review)

ted-movie-posterI remember when I used to like Family Guy… way back when it was staffed with writers trying to produce quality jokes rather than just trying to shock me. But, it’s impossible to talk about Ted without talking about Family Guy – particularly since they both have similar problems.

Seth Macfarlane is the voice of Ted, a teddy bear that comes to life after a friendless boy (Mark Wahlberg) makes a wish. Book-ended with narration by Patrick Stewart (which is funny, but kinda useless), we catch up with the pair of best friends all grown up – at least they’re over 30 now. Wahlberg’s girlfriend (Mila Kunis) is desperate for Wahlberg to move on with his life, get the promotion at work that’s his for the taking and move in with her and not waste hours upon hours smoking weed and getting into trouble with Ted. Hilarity and conflict ensues… sorta. Read the rest of this entry

Oz The Great And Powerful [movie review]

Oz_-_The_Great_and_Powerful_PosterOz the Great and Powerful is a prequel to the Wizard of Oz story we all grew up with, and that be more pressure than any movie deserves to have heaped upon it, but there it is.  It’s fair to say it doesn’t live up to the hype, and I don’t think it ever could as that’s an unfair expectation, but even more so, the movie just has fundamental problems that distract the viewer. Read the rest of this entry

Oz the Great and Powerful movie trailer

Did you ever wonder how Oz came to become the undisputed ruler of the Emerald City? Neither did I! Perhaps Oz the Great and Powerful will come to do for the Oz movies (yes, I am referring to both The Wizard of Oz and the scary as fuck Return to Oz) what the prequels did for the original Star Wars movies – that is, proving that the beginning of a character’s story isn’t necessarily the most interesting place to start from.

I’m sure that either watching the movie or reading the reviews for films like Snow White and the Huntsmen, John Carter or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory make you shake in terror at the prospect of Oz the Great and Powerful, and after watching the trailer, I’m not sure you’re wrong. Still, it’s colorful, and James Franco is a great actor, as is Mila Kunis. However, I don’t love Sam Raimi or his Spider-Man films (I don’t hate them either… well, the third one has psychophrenia… oh and also features James Franco… it’s probably not a coincidence that Raimi is directing and Franco is the star), but the movie does look good… and yet, some of it’s visuals are so digital that they look crappy. I do, however, like the traditional entrance of the Wicked Witch of the West at the end of the trailer.

Also, why does every pre existing property have to morph into a hardcore action movie when it makes it’s return to theaters? This happened when Star Trek: The Next Generation moved from TV to the movies, when Snow White came back, when Planet of the Apes came back… I’m frankly shocked that the new(ish) Willy Wonka movie didn’t end with a big battle scene – which I predict this movie will end with. It’ll look something like the end of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. You saw that shot of Oz trying to inspire people, raising his fist above his head? He’d just finished saying something like, "Sons of Munchkin Land! Of Emerald City! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of flying monkeys and shattered broom sticks, when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good land, I bid you stand, Men of Oz!"

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