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QUICK REVIEWS: The Departed (episode 22)

QUICK REVIEWS is back in action!  This time, I’m taking a look at The Departed, another action crime drama from Martin Scorsese.  Man, nobody does mob movies like Scorsese. The screenplay is by William Monahan (this is probably his most famous movie) and starring… well, everybody. The Departed stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, and Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen, Ray Winstone, Vera Farmiga, Anthony Anderson and Alec Baldwin.  You think they got enough stars?  I bet a lot (half?) of that $90 million dollar budget went to salaries!  It’s not Scorsese’s best movie, but I’m a fan of The Departed.

That’s a good question.  What is Scorsese’s best movie?  Goodfellas?

Check out all episodes of Quick Reviews here!  Follow Quick Reviews on Facebook!

The Wolf of Wall Street (movie review)

There is no one more surprised than me that a post entitled The Wolf of Wall Street has nothing to do with any of my dogs, but here we are. At one hundred and eighty minutes, The Wolf of Wall Street is a redundant mouthful, but it’s still a lot of fun. Read the rest of this entry

The Great Gatsby (movie review)

the-great-gatsbyWe saw The Great Gatsby in 3D, and I have to say, it’s the most visually stunning 3D movie I’ve ever seen – and it’s a good flick, too.

This version of Gatsby seems to divide people – some enjoy it, some don’t, and there are several reasons to support both sides of this argument. I enjoyed it – not just because I’ve enjoyed Baz Luhrmann’s other films (the few I’ve seen, at least), but because I felt they captured the overall tone of the novel and presented the characters in the way the novel does. I’m sure many disagree with this sentiment, but I think that’s why I enjoyed the movie – it felt right, despite all of its bells and whistles. I thought they hit all of the key scenes from the novel perfectly, and that’s what the strength of The Great Gatsby story is.

Let’s dive in. Read the rest of this entry

Mixers and Movie Reviews Ep 2 Django Unchained & Hop – Skittles Vodka


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Titanic 3D coming in 2012

titanic“Ice burg right ahead!”  – I shiz you not.

James Cameron is re-releasing Titanic in 2012 to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the sinking… of the Titanic.

After all, nothing says loving tribute to those that lost their lives in that tragic accident like JamesCameron collecting another ten bucks off my mom and her friends on movie night.

Oh wait, there is a way to make the tribute even better:


james cameron

"Suck on THAT, George Lucas!"

So if you liked Titanic before, surely you will love 3D Leonardo DiCaprio.  When reached for comment, Mr. DiCaprio said, “This is exactly what my career needs right now.”

In an effort to one up Mr. Cameron, I’d like to announce that I’ll be debuting Lusitania for Christmas of 2011.  The special effects will combine CG elements and plastic models filmed in my bath tub – in the third act, my golden retriever bites the Lusitania in half.  And of course, the movie will be in 3D.  And it’s going to be a musical, featuring music by Bono and The Edge.

I readily admit:  I’ve never actually sat down and watched Titanic from beginning to end.  I saw the trailer and thought, “That looks shizzy,” and didn’t see it in theaters.  Remember when it was on cable all the time for a while there?  I tried, but I had to turn that bad boy off.  I stand by the decision. Remember the scene when that one character remarked, “Psh, Picasso, he’ll never go anywhere.”  Yeah, I turned it off right there.  However, I did turn it back on in time to watch the boat sink, and I’ve seen a few scenes here and there over the years, so I think I got the jist:  the movie blows.  But then, check out James Cameron’s resume:  does anyone seriously enjoy these movies on any level?  As for me, I’m patiently waiting for the sequel to Piranha Part Two: The Spawning.

futuramaAnyway, I did see the Futurama parody of Titanic – that’s probably good enough.

I thought the idea of a Titanic movie was in bad taste before, when I was a teenager. Re-releasing it just affirms my deeply spiritual belief that James Cameron is the devil and he shouldn’t set this hell hound upon us again.  Besides, he owes me one:  I sat through all of Avatar and I didn’t interrupt that flaming pile of shiz once to complained about how bad the movie sucked (besides being crappy, it’s also the most predictable movie of all time), how heavy the 3D glasses were, how sick I was of the fact that everything on Pandora glows after the first walk through the jungle, that the element they wanted to mine was called unobtanium and that it equally unnecessary for Cameron to scale the aliens that much bigger than the humans as it was to show the main guy get into his avatar control coffin every single damn time he was going to control his avatar.  He has to get in the damn coffin thingy – I get it!

Back to Titanic:  making money off tragedy is evil, but not illegal, so I don’t begrudge him much for this – if it wasn’t Cameron, it’d be somebody else.  But to do it twice with the same movie is downright… I don’t know what to call it.  I guess it makes you Hitler.  There, I said it – its just basic math:

let p be profiting off tragedy, so p * 2 = you’re Hitler

I was mad about how shitty Avatar was, but re-releasing Titanic is going to far, and I’m super angry about it, and it’s an anger I can never let go…  never let go.


"You just said you'd never let go... don't forget and leave me in a watery grave forever..."

Inception: pick a side

Inception-movie-posterIf you haven’t seen Inception, this post isn’t going to make much sense to you.

I enjoyed the latest jam from Christopher Nolan; this movie reminded me quite a bit of Memento, but was still totally unique.  But let’s get it on:

What do you think happened at the end of Inception?  There are two schools of thought:

  • Leonardo DiCaprio‘s character, Dom Cobb, is able to return to his children/the totem top falls
  • Leonardo DiCaprio‘s character, Dom Cobb, is trapped in the dream/the totem top continues to spin

Folks who go with option 1 believe that the top is wobbling right before the movie cuts to black.  I don’t agree; I voted that he’s trapped because his children are wearing the same clothes they wear in his dream, it seems to be the same time of day (same amount of sun) and they don’t appear to have aged.

I’ve done a brief survey of the few people I know who’ve seen the movie, and choosing between these two options seems to run on gender lines.  Women choose option 1 and men choose option 2.  Fascinating.  I also found that this happened when I asked people what they thought happened after the fade to black at the end of Cast Away:  women always responded that he got in his car and kept driving while men said he went back to the lady’s house who he’d left the note and package for.

In any case, it’s a good flick – check it out.  Drop a comment here if you can; i’m going to dry to add a poll feature, but not sure how it works – if its here and functioning, vote on it!

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