Proper Noun Disorder is a mental condition found in writers of fiction. This occurs when the patient’s inhabitation of their own fictional world results in naming their characters with easily understood, even ridiculous names in an attempt to subconsciously provide the reader with clues about the character’s personality. Unfortunately, this simplistic approach leads to character names that not only inform on the character but also make clear that not only does the author have the disorder, but it also serves as a clear indication that the writer thinks the reader is an idiot.
The following character names were examined during Ms. Rowling’s diagnosis:
I know you guys are busy dominating the TV short season with Game of Thrones (although The Walking Dead franchise clearly has its eyes on the crown), but I’ve got a pitch for ya. Once the race to win the Iron Throne is over, it’s only logical that you find another big project to turn into your next must see series (forgive me if I don’t think Ballers is going to make your subscriber rates jump) and it really ought to be Harry Potter. Check this out: Read the rest of this entry
“What are two things your outdoor Christmas display is missing retailing over one hundred bucks each?”
This is how crazy these Christmas decorations are – I’ve turned it into some weird Jeopardy parody. I just don’t get it and thankfully, I don’t think anyone else does, either, as I’ve yet to see these two options in the wild.
I’m a long time fan of Cracked.com. Series such as After Hours, Obsessive Pop Culture Disorder and Today’s Topic are part of my staple internet shows, so I’m always curious to check out their latest efforts. However, their two previous (and most elaborate) offerings, Rom.Com and their Star Wars parody (Adventures in Jedi School) didn’t do anything for me at all – to say I was disappointed is a bit of an understatement. The trailer for their newest series, Welcome Back, Potter, got my attention right away, so I checked it out to see if this would be a turning point or the solidification of a trend that things at Cracked had changed forever. Read the rest of this entry
I feel that once you get through The Goblet of Fire, the translation from page to screen begins to suffer… or, perhaps these stories were not meant to be adapted in this way. Whatever the case, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is not nearly as interesting to watch as it was to read. But, I don’t have any intention to compare the novels and movies so instead, I’ll just pay strict attention to what’s on the screen. However, I do want to note that things that bug me about the movie didn’t bug me about the book. Read the rest of this entry
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the fourth movie in the series and is a coming of age story within a series that is a coming of age story itself. If that sounds redundant… that’s because it is. It might not be fair to call Goblet of Fire an unnecessary installment, but I’m probably going to do it anyway. Read the rest of this entry
When I sit down and think about it, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is a much better film than it should be. It stars inexperienced child actors (Rupert Grint had previously appeared in a movie about farting… I think that one was called Thunderpants), it’s directed by all or nothing Chris Columbus (Home Alone, Fantastic Four) and had super heavy expectations from the novel’s fans – not to mention a CGI department that either didn’t care, didn’t know what they’re doing or was using technology that would have gotten laughed out of the Jurassic Park development room. Let’s take a look at the movie that kick started the franchise that opened its own theme park!
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is the second installment of the franchise and the first time I saw it, I enjoyed it, but chucked it up to just a random Harry Potter adventure. Of course, we all learned later that the climax of this movie was much more important than it seemed at the time on at least two story points, which doesn’t help this movie much… Not to say it’s a bad movie (in fact, I think it’s Dr. Girlfriend’s favorite), yet I have seen on the ol’ inter-web that a lot of people don’t care for this one. Let’s take a closer look!
This… this… Vampire Academy… what? The only thing more unbelievable than the fact that this show exists is the fact that it’s called Vampire Academy. Talk about not burying the lead, huh? Why not just call it, Harry Potter, But With Vampires! This is the stupidest, most ridiculous, laziest flaming pile of feces that I’ve ever heard of. This idea makes Percy Jackson look original and classy. This is the very worst the vampire craze could ever get and surely a sign that nearly every vampire possibility can be exploited. I assume they’ll get even more lazy the next time and just go straight up Vampires in Space, Like, You Know, Star Wars – But With Vampires.