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Anybody But Jeb! ep 2 review or CNN’s Republican Presidential Debate


Each candidate’s lectern will inject a mild yet pleasurable stimulant directly into their bloodstream each time they say “Reagan.”

Last time on Anybody But Jeb!, we saw Donald Trump cement his standing as the Randle McMurphy of the stage while Scott Walker’s performance pushed his numbers from “legitimate candidate” to “one of several people we’re just waiting to drop out.”  Did episode 2 change anything for these candidates?  And did Jeb do well enough to get his numbers to start swinging toward the two front-runners?  Keep in mind that the series finale episode of Anybody But Mitt! was called, “Meh, Let’s Just Go With Mitt.”  Read the rest of this entry

Chris Christie is running for president… but not to win


Yeah, I know he hasn’t announced it yet (technically, I did it for him years ago), and I know we’re nowhere near a presidential primary victory for anybody (on the Republican side), but this is what’s going down:  Read the rest of this entry

Christie Spends $11.9 Million on Special Election to Hide from Booker

Gov. Chris Christie has decided that New Jersey will hold a special primary and election to fill the seat of Senator Frank Lautenberg, who passed away on Monday, rather than appoint someone to finish out his term. He will have to appoint someone to hold down the fort until after the election in October.

This is both good and bad.

GOOD: It’s good that Gov. Chris Christie isn’t going to appoint someone to finish out Lautenberg’s term. A year and half is a long to have an unelected official fill out a major seat in government.

BAD: It’s bad that this will necessitate both a primary and general election, and Christie has compounded this problem by holding a special election in October rather than adding the senatorial race to the regular November election. This will cost New Jersey tax payers an extra $11.9 million dollars.

If I was the sort of guy that got helicopter rides to little league games, maybe I wouldn’t think $11.9 million dollars was a lot of money, and in the scope of a federal budget, it’s not, but when we’re talking about New Jersey (where we’re literally checking the couch cushions for money to deal with school funding, road maintenance, state employee salaries – not to mention Hurricane Sandy clean up and a million other things), an extra twelve million bucks could go far in any number of areas.

And the reason Christie is doing this is down right despicable.

This special election in October is all about Christie making sure there aren’t an excess of Cory Booker fans at the polls on general election day in November. The theory is that if they are, those people will vote for Christie’s opponent, which is not expected to change the outcome, but merely reduce Christie’s margin of victory and hence make him look less powerful when he goes into the 2016 presidential election. He’d like to go in saying, "I won blue state New Jersey by over 10 points, I’m the guy who can take back the White House," but he’s worried that Booker will ruin that. Hence, the extra twelve million New Jersey will have to pull out of the air from who knows where.

Christie is quoted as saying, "I don’t think you can put a price tag on what it’s worth to have an elected person in the United States Senate."

Yes you can: it’s twelve million dollars. And it’s a complete waste.

Oh Republicans, you so CRAZY (Or: Why Ryan and Christie?)

So…  let me see if I can understand this.

Mitt Romney has chosen Paul Ryan to be his running mate.  When I heard this, I said, “Who?  Oh, wait… now I remember – that fucking guy?  That’s crazy.”  Read the rest of this entry

Chris Christie Is Running For President in 2016 – Ask Me How I Know!


“I’m not running for President… yet. In three – no, four more years.”

In my view, you don’t want your first and last name to start with the same letter or rhyme, but Chris Christie, who essentially has the same name for both his first and last name takes it to the next level.  And for some reason, every time he opens his mouth, all I hear is:  “Ha mongo bargon wan chee kospah, ol Jedi.  Chone manya weesh asha beecho.”*

If you haven’t already sussed this out for yourself, my opinion of the governor is fairly low.  I’m just never going to get along with anyone who takes helicopter rides to little league games, which supposedly don’t cost tax payers any money somehow – oh, because fuel and helicopter maintenance is free and we usually train our guys to fly homeland security missions by visiting children’s sporting events.  (I forgot all that!)  Of course, his approval rating was at 53% in mid January, and if you’re over 50%, you must be doing something right…  I would have thought it’d be lower (it was below 50% during the summer), so what do I know?  Apparently, not a damn thing.

Wait, there is one thing I do know!  Chris Christie is running for president in 2016.  He’s made no announcement, but he’s done two things that are just as good as putting a “Christie 2016” sign on his front lawn.

Christie vetoed NJ’s Gay Marriage bill

Vetoing gay marriage was genius political move for Christie and his Republican presidential  nominee aspirations.  Now, he can say he vetoed gay marriage in his state to the sect of his party that hates that and he can tell the sect of his party that are big on civil liberties and state’s rights that he turned it over to the people in referendum (which he’s suggested for this November) to decide the best course for the state.  It will likely pass, so he can tell gay republicans no harm, no foul.  Talk about having your cake and eating it, too.

Christie lowered NJ income tax

Proposing to lower income tax is another brilliant move for pleasing those he’ll need to win over to get the nomination in 2016.  Whether it happens or not, he’ll at least be able to say he tried to lowered taxes and ease the burden on New Jersey’s citizens, but frankly, income tax doesn’t mean squat to people who pay them in NJ – it’s property taxes that kills the NJ tax payer, and his budget proposal “provides less money for direct property tax relief than the year before.”

So there you have it – Christie is running for president in 2016 – I guarantee it.

*“There will be no bargain, young Jedi.  I shall enjoy watching you die.”

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