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San Andreas movie review

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“I guess this is as good a time as any to talk about our failed marriage.”

I was on a flight from Newark to Denver and I said to myself, San Andreas is exactly the sort of movie you watch on a plane; dial your expectations down and watch The Rock be charismatic.”  I was right, but more than that, this is actually a pretty tight action movie.  Read the rest of this entry

Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation movie review

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I am by no means a James Bond aficionado, but if you’d of told kid-me that I’d like the Mission Impossible movie series more than 007’s alcohol infused, STD covered adventures, I’d of sad you were nuts, and I’d have been wrong.  Rogue Nation is, for me, the final iteration it takes for me to realize that Ethan Hunt is just as credible as any other legendary action character and, in a lot of ways, more so.

Oh, and I liked the movie, too.  Read the rest of this entry

Catwoman movie review

2004’s Catwoman is a mess of pandering, lazy and sloppy writing that the filmmakers hoped would be covered over by Halle Berry’s beauty.  SPOILER ALERT:  it is not.  Read the rest of this entry

Darkman quick movie review

What can I say about Darkman?  It’s very much a product of its time in terms of its action movie-ness, yet it’s clear Sam Raimi wanted to make a superhero movie back when studios weren’t knocking each other open to buy up licenses.  So we can an original character and a new franchise and get to hear Liam Neeson do an American accent.  Read the rest of this entry

Ant-Man quick movie review

Marvel’s Ant-Man is the latest installment (by my count, this is the 11th movie in the franchise) in their Cinematic Universe and is currently soaking up all of the box office money.  Isn’t it amazing that Marvel has just released a movie starring one of its lesser known protagonists and yet it’s still debatable whether or not DC Comics can even get their franchise off the ground?  I digress… frankly, Ant-Man is business as usual (more than usual, actually), but that doesn’t mean it’s not good fun.  Read the rest of this entry

Living in Oblivion quick movie review

There’s movies about making movies, and then there’s Living in Oblivion, headlined by Steve Buscemi, Catherine Keener and Peter Dinklage.

Also, this is one of the worst trailers I’ve ever seen.

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Mission Impossible movie review

It’s the original, it’s the best of the bunch, it’s one of the most underrated action movies of the 1990s, it’s Mission Impossible – franchise starter protocol!  Read the rest of this entry

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes movie review

Like the first installment of the rebooted franchise, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes features little in the way of surprises, but is generally superior to Rise without being especially remarkable. 
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Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron movie review

I was entertained by Avengers: Age of Ultron, but I also have to rip it to shreds.  There’s a lot to like, but honestly, it’s a bladder punishing two hours and twenty minutes that carries too much bloat.  
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Iron Monkey movie review

Iron Monkey is the sort of action movie that doesn’t bury the lead.  Iron Monkey is the hero of the film, he’s a badass in the Robin Hood tradition and this movie gets right to the point – surreal kung fu fighting!  Read the rest of this entry

5 Reasons to hate Battlefield Earth movie review

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ME:  Remember when I sorta hinted that I was going to review Battlefield Earth?

YOU:  No.  I don’t visit your site nearly as often as you think I do.  Haven’t you noticed your traffic has been static for 3 years?

ME:  …

Anyway, fifteen-ish years after I saw it the first time and hated it, I rewatched Battlefield Earth… and it’s worse than I remember. Read the rest of this entry

Dracula Untold movie review

Way back when I first saw the trailer, I thought both “Do we really need to remake everything?” and “This looks awful” simultaneously.  Now that I’ve seen the film, I’ve upgraded Dracula Untold to “eh” from “meh.”  (If you’re keeping score at home, this means I’m no longer dismissing the film and I’m now recognizing that it exists and is not the worst thing to happen to vampires since Twilight.) 
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