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Category Archives: Politics

Monuments to the Confederacy NEED TO GO

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We’ll get to this in a minute…

You can whip up a snappy catch phrase (“Heritage, Not Hate,” “State’s Rights,” whatever), talk about the importance of history and our forebears, but this doesn’t change the facts.  Monuments to the Confederacy honor people who committed treason against the United States and pay homage to a system that condones people owning other people.

So what are the facts?  It’s simple.  Jim Crow was the law of the land for 100 years and that’s when these statues went up, that’s why they went up.  In fact, you’ll see here that a STUNNING number of these monuments went up in he first quarter of the Twentieth Century, NOT the Nineteenth.   The purpose of these statues is to disparage an entire race.  You could say the statues celebrate history (although the word “celebrate” just barfed all over itself), you could argue that these statues were erected to facilitate Reconstruction (but again, if you check the dates that most of them were installed, you can see that this can’t be true), but if that history is something you want to celebrate in a park, well, here’s a few reasons why that’s beyond inappropriate.

That’s not what parks are for!
Parks are for children, for families, for people walking their dogs, playing chess, just relaxing, taking a quiet stroll, for reading…  you know, flying kites, park stuff. They’re not for celebrating the Confederacy.  Monuments are for honoring people and events – history belongs in a museum.

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Do you know what “empathy” is?
Can you imagine what it must feel like to be an African American and walk past a statue or monument to the confederacy?  Or, for that matter, just anyone who believes in equality?  For me, it’s frustrating.  I don’t have to experience this on a daily basis, but some people do and they shouldn’t. Wouldn’t it be strange to have the aforementioned King George statue in your face everyday? We don’t honor our Colonial Roots in this country BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE STUPID.  We observe our history in museums and places like Colonial Williamsburg (which conducts itself under a strict code of ethics) to understand our history, not to romanticize it.

High Treason
In case you had the chickenpox that week during 5th grade, how about this?  When you’re talking about someone like Robert E. Lee, you’re talking about someone who took up arms against the United States.  That’s TREASON.  If America had lost the Revolutionary War, I doubt the British would allow a bunch of George Washington statues littering the landscape.

And as long as I’m on the Revolution, check this out:

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Yep, we tore down King George statues because he was oppressive.  Seeing any parallels yet?

Statues aren’t necessarily meant to stay up forever. They’ve been getting pulled down since… well, since there were statues.  Over time, statues can lose context, become belligerent or just irrelevant.  Statues to the Confederacy need to be removed from parks and other public spaces and head off the museum where they can be put in their proper context:  an unfortunate part of the American past that should never be forgotten, but never celebrated.

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Donald Trump Executive Order + #JustAddZebras (Angry Cucumber)

A long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away), Master Yoda told us that the future was always in motion.  It was true then, and it’s true now.  We make changes with the times.  For example, my Yankees baseball twitter is now Angry Cucumber, a gourd with a furious appetite for democracy.  Follow along with the Choleric Cucurbitaceae on Twitter!

Confronting President Trump’s Muslim Ban

I’m old enough to remember when lying about an extramarital affair was grounds for impeachment.  These days, you can violate the constitution and collaborate with foreign saboteurs and we have to argue over whether a special prosecutor is needed.

I have high hopes for the 21st Century – let’s all get together and right the ship!

How @GeorgeForeman and I became best friends?

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George Foreman is the world’s foremost grill promoter.  Ha, “FOREmost.”  See what I did there?

So here’s the thing:

George Foreman went on Fox and Friends and voiced his support for President Trump.  On February 4th.  After he took office and… you know, did many awful things.  I’m not the world’s biggest George Foreman fan, and maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised that the guy who had five sons AND NAMED THEM ALL AFTER HIMSELF let me down… anyway, I took to Twitter to let him know how I feel.

That question mark in the title of this post will begin making sense in just a second. Read the rest of this entry

Women’s March on NYC

A historic day in an unprecedented time.  Local news agencies report that about 400,000 people participated and there were zero arrests.

Things I learn from Election 2016

Congratulations, America. You just elected the first president EVER with no political or military experience. I’m sure this’ll go great. With that in mind, here’s a rundown of things I learned from the 2016 election of Donald Trump.

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#FeelTheBern ? Check again.

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Sanders seen in his usual pose: singling the wait staff for the check.

Since the Republican Primary has descended into a literal dick measuring competition, I thought today was as good a time as any to take a microcosm-ish look at the battle on the Democratic side for the nomination of President to these United States. Read the rest of this entry

Hunger Games + Republican Presidential Primary (JEB edition)

 

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After my first Hunger Games The Fallen + Republican Presidential Primary video, I had to step up my game for JEB.

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Hunger Games + Republican Primary

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See the Republican Primary Fallen in a Hunger Games format.  Obviously.

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Cruz Christmas Classics collapses my colon

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This offends both Christians and comedy fans by politicizing a high holy day and doing so in such an unfunny manner.
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Republicans are Master Debaters (Round 5)

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See what I did there?

CNN brought the thirteen (yes, there is still an unwieldy baker’s dozen) Republican Presidential Candidates to Las Vegas last night for the fifth debate in an effort to give Chris Christie an up close view at profitable casinos. Here’s what went down. Read the rest of this entry

Anybody But Jeb! ep 2 review or CNN’s Republican Presidential Debate

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Each candidate’s lectern will inject a mild yet pleasurable stimulant directly into their bloodstream each time they say “Reagan.”

Last time on Anybody But Jeb!, we saw Donald Trump cement his standing as the Randle McMurphy of the stage while Scott Walker’s performance pushed his numbers from “legitimate candidate” to “one of several people we’re just waiting to drop out.”  Did episode 2 change anything for these candidates?  And did Jeb do well enough to get his numbers to start swinging toward the two front-runners?  Keep in mind that the series finale episode of Anybody But Mitt! was called, “Meh, Let’s Just Go With Mitt.”  Read the rest of this entry

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