Category Archives: creative projects

creative projects

Yoda lightning – a new definition for the dictionary

Yoda Lightning – when a character in a movie does something that makes you yell at the screen, “If you can do that, why don’t you do it all the time? Why don’t you do it in this instance, and that instance and the many other ways that thing you can do could affect the plot, but you don’t! Why don’t you do it?!?”

The answer is usually, “Because it would make the movie 5 minutes long.”

This term traces its roots back to Star Wars The Last Jedi . In this film, (Force ghost) Yoda summons a lightning bolt to burn down a tree. This begs the question: if he can just appear somewhere and summon lightning, why doesn’t he do that all the time? It sure would save the Galaxy from a lot of horror and bloodshed.


Coast Shaming / City Shaming ( Dictionary)

Coast Shamingsnow-christmas-lights-bush1.jpg
Also known as “City Shaming.”
This is the process by which characters in a film (usually a Christmas movie) will impose their belief that small town America is superior in every way to city life.  IE, the way people behave in cities is inferior to the tradition, hospitality and decorating grandeur of rural villages.  This phenomenon is especially prevalent in Hallmark Christmas movies.


About the Dictionary:
The Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now. I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words. I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

Proper Noun Disorder – a condition explained (a Harry Potter character name exploration)

JK Rowling is generally accepted to be the first diagnosed case of Proper Noun Disorder.

Proper Noun Disorder is a mental condition found in writers of fiction.  This occurs when the patient’s inhabitation of their own fictional world results in naming their characters with easily understood, even ridiculous names in an attempt to subconsciously provide the reader with clues about the character’s personality.  Unfortunately, this simplistic approach leads to character names that not only inform on the character but also make clear that not only does the author have the disorder, but it also serves as a clear indication that the writer thinks the reader is an idiot.

The following character names were examined during Ms. Rowling’s diagnosis:

Read the rest of this entry

a 90s definition of euphemism by Sega


Sega does what Ninten-Don’t (no, not stay a viable video game console company) – they use euphemistic language in their ads.  They’re not the first to make the “you’re playing with your joystick” joke, but they were probably the last because now we have the Playstation Motion Controller, and it doesn’t get any more obvious than that.

Primary Colors movie review – special guest blog!

Today’s review of Primary Colors is a special guest blog written by Contemporary Teenager.  Enjoy!  ~jamie

So hi.  Uhm, I watched this movie on the TV in the living room (instead of on my phone like a normal person) with my stupid parents and it was called Primary Colors and I think it was supposed to be educational or something.  Read the rest of this entry

How to make an Emergency Paper Bowl 1.0, dry edition



It’s the how to guide you didn’t know you needed until you did:  how to make a paper bowl out of a paper plate that can only hold dry goods.  Read the rest of this entry

I repurposed a Keurig k-cup box as a napkin holder. You’re WELCOME.


YES!  RECYCLING!  Read the rest of this entry Channel Trailer (Youtube)

In case you didn’t know, I have a YouTube channel.  It’s been a bit quiet of late… that is, until I dropped the Will Reading trailer.  Anyway, YouTube asks that you make a trailer for your channel – I’ve made two and I’m quite proud of both of them.  Enjoy!  Read the rest of this entry

"data entry hypnosis" ( Dictionary)

“data entry hypnosis”

“Data entry hypnosis” is an experience during which a person, while entering information into a database, seemingly loses track of time and even the information they’re entering but all the while entering the information correctly.  It’s similar/identical to the experience of Highway Hypnosis.

About the Dictionary:
The Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now. I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words. I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

Experience on Twitter (shameless self promotion)

It’s totally different than coming to the website!  Because… I dunno. Non Sequiturs!  The website itself could never contain a photo of soy milk with such a prognosticate expiration date!

But, maybe my twitter feed has half as many exclamation points than a post on this site that is the mother ship?

Anyway, consider following me on Twitter and witnessing my ascent to godhood… or imminent death!

Or, more likely, something like, “Did you ever notice that sporks aren’t very good forks?  They’re more like pointy spoons.”

Will Reading – a movie in production by update #3

will-reading-the-movieJust for giggles, here’s an update on Will Reading – a movie in production by Read the rest of this entry

DIY Armrest

As an adult, you have to make decisions, and sometimes, you’re presented with a decision that makes financial sense but requires some additional work on your part. This came to pass when we bought a new car – if we were willing to pony up another two grand, we’d get an armrest, cruise control and floor mats. Since Dr. Girlfriend doesn’t use cruise control and we live in an urban area, cruise control isn’t a big deal for us. A simple Amazon search will show you that great floor mats are available for under a hundred beans, so this quickly became a no brainer. The arm rest was tricky, but I figured something out. I bought an over-sized cup holder from Amazon (that was like five bucks… something like that) and a toy soccer ball from Ikea (I forget… maybe five bucks), dropped about a dollar’s worth of pennies in the cup holder for weight and stuffed the soccer ball on into the cup holder and that’s all there is to it. It’s not perfect, but it’s way better than forking over two grand for an armrest, floor mats and a feature we’re never going to use.

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