Author Archives: Jamie Insalaco

Christmas List movie review (2016)


The Hallmark Channel has really outdone themselves this time.  And by that, I mean this movie has the exact same beats as every one of their Christmas Rom Coms:

  1. underappreciated woman has boyfriend who doesn’t understand her and/or takes her for granted
  2. woman meets a guy who gets her
  3. at end of the movie, woman stays with original guy because “he had first dibs”

OK, I might have made that last one up.

Nevertheless, warm up your clarinet and “just let it happen” as we dig into Christmas List together.

“I want to watch!”

I know you do, you freaky little kid. You’re gross.  We’ll get back to him.  Read the rest of this entry

3 alternatives to the NES Classic Edition


The latest from Nintendo is the NES Classic Edition, a system that exists because they we’re pretty sure you’d buy it.  This adorable, tiny nostalgic grey rectangle comes pre-loaded with 30 NES titles that weren’t exactly picked out of a hat, but there’s certainly some on here that baffled me (Castlevania 2, Excitebike) as much as the ones that were left off (Commando, Contra, etc).  Retailing at $60 USD, that’s $2 a game if you don’t factor in the hardware, but my feeling is that this system isn’t worth the effort.  Here are 3 suggestions as alternatives to the NES Classic Edition.  Read the rest of this entry

Holidaze movie review


Gotta get that International Job, right? Just open that Streetsville store and it’s all yours!  “International Job!”  “Streetsville!”  “Melody!” Christmas! Wait, it’s Thanksgiving? I’m sure this movie is going be about Christmas at some point… Although at the start, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet!

Oh, it’s a Thanksgiving movie? It’s a Thanksgiving movie. Oh.  No wait, it’s both? Read the rest of this entry

Trading Christmas movie review


The world’s most telegraphed story ever unfolds before your eyes (very, very slowly) when you watch Trading Christmas, a movie so obvious it may break you.

Just to be clear, this movie is absolutely NOT The Holiday. Read the rest of this entry

Proper Noun Disorder – a condition explained (a Harry Potter character name exploration)


JK Rowling is generally accepted to be the first diagnosed case of Proper Noun Disorder.

Proper Noun Disorder is a mental condition found in writers of fiction.  This occurs when the patient’s inhabitation of their own fictional world results in naming their characters with easily understood, even ridiculous names in an attempt to subconsciously provide the reader with clues about the character’s personality.  Unfortunately, this simplistic approach leads to character names that not only inform on the character but also make clear that not only does the author have the disorder, but it also serves as a clear indication that the writer thinks the reader is an idiot.

The following character names were examined during Ms. Rowling’s diagnosis:

Read the rest of this entry

Miracle on 34th Street (Quick Reviews)


It’s time to get into the holiday spirit with new episodes of Quick Reviews!  First up:  Miracle on 34th Street (1947)Read the rest of this entry

Cars 3 trailer is terrifyingly real


Hi Disney,

How are you?  Is everything OK?  I’m asking because I just saw the Cars 3 trailer and oh my lord what the hell were you guys thinking?

Did you see the $1.1 billion Civil War made and think, “Hmmm.   Cars 2 only made $562 million, which is less than a billion dollars.  Better call the Marvel guys in, see what they suggest.”  Because that’s what it looks like.

My nephew is a huge Cars fan.  Are you trying to kill him?   He’s going to need to change his clothes after he sees this trailer.  What’s going to happen when he sees this Days of Thunder knockoff?  Did Disney invest in therapeutic drugs and their plan is to traumatize a generation?  Did you learn nothing from the three generations of moviegoers still complaining about Bambi’s mom?  Do you guys think you’re making Harry Potter and Cars needs to get darker as it goes along?

Look, I get that the first Cars movie was a Doc Hollywood knockoff and the second one was a James Bond parody, but the hyper realistic imagery and near death experience (and that’s just the trailer) are probably not the right direction to take the franchise that inspired this:

Santa Claws (2014) movie review


That “The Asylum” production logo at the beginning of the above trailer above should serve as a warning – they don’t make great movies. But this movie is like an insanity test – watching Santa Claws may end with you being institutionalized. Read the rest of this entry

Hacksaw Ridge review


DON’T WATCH THIS TRAILER.  IT GIVES AWAY TOO MUCH!!!

I saw the trailer for Hacksaw Ridge and just assumed, “It’s another Clint Eastwood World War II movie.”  It’s not.  This is a Mel Gibson joint and frankly, that doesn’t mean much to me because neither The Passion of the Christ or Apocalypto peaked my interest and Braveheart came out twenty years ago.  It all happened by chance – I just picked whatever movie was playing at a time when I was free to hit the movies while I was traveling.  “I like Andrew Garfield,” I thought.  “I’m sure this’ll be the inspirational sports version of a war movie.”

Nope.

Hacksaw Ridge is many things, but for the faint of heart, it is NOT.

Read the rest of this entry

Things I learn from Election 2016


Congratulations, America. You just elected the first president EVER with no political or military experience. I’m sure this’ll go great. With that in mind, here’s a rundown of things I learned from the 2016 election of Donald Trump.

Read the rest of this entry

ARW tour review (OCT 19 BOSTON, MA at WANG THEATRE & NOV 01 NEW YORK, NY at BEACON THEATRE)


ARW at the Wang Theatre in Boston, MA

ARW at the Wang Theatre in Boston, MA

I had the privilege of seeing Anderson, Rabin and Wakeman (ARW) play twice on their current tour, An Evening of YES Music & More.  I’m not exactly sure what the “more” refers to, except that they did play one bit from the ABWH album and their was a brief drum solo, but that hardly seems worthy of tacking “more” onto the title of the tour, but whatever – on with the show!  Read the rest of this entry

Halloween (1978) – Quick Reviews


It’s Halloween, so today’s Quick Reviews, I’ll take a look at Halloween!  Synergy!

Check out more episodes of Quick Reviews here and keep up with new episodes of Quick Reviews on the Facebook page or Twitter!

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