A Very Merry Toy Store movie review

LIFETIME has done it:  they are the winner of the First Annual CreativeJamie.com Worst Made for TV Christmas Movie Award.  Congratulations!  YOU EARNED IT.

A Very Merry Toy Store is actually about three toy stores – not one, but three!  And, I suppose they’re merry… I mean, none of them are especially merry, so this should set the tone for what sort of movie this is.

So, what’s the plot?  It’s a SUPER LAZY retelling of You’ve Got Mail (though not really Shop Around the Corner).  We’ve got two businesses going head to head, but in an effort to give the audience a flatter villain and to decrease the tension between Mario Lopez and Melissa Joan Hart, there’s a THIRD toy store run by a greedy businessman BECAUSE OF COURSE THERE IS.

If you’re wondering what happens between Mario Lopez and Melissa Joan Hart, well, cue a Simpsons reference:

simpsons-robot

There’s all sorts of other things going on.  Mario Cantone improvises some funny stuff, Brian Dennehy can barely bother to stand up AND I DON’T BLAME HIM.  The dialogue, the photography, the editing, the terrible green screen, the bizarre sled race that stole its pacing from The Phantom Menace, that awful comp shot…

a-very-merry-toy-store

Just look at the size of the parking lot compared to the buildings… and the fact that this seems to be taking place at the North Pole? During the Northern Lights? Only this movie…

This movie is so bad it’s good.  It’s one of those, but more in a “nobody gives a shiz” sort of way rather than a “nobody knows what they’re doing.”  I can’t wait to watch it again!

About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on December 20, 2017, in christmas blog posts, movie review and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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