Cars 3 trailer is terrifyingly real

Hi Disney,

How are you?  Is everything OK?  I’m asking because I just saw the Cars 3 trailer and oh my lord what the hell were you guys thinking?

Did you see the $1.1 billion Civil War made and think, “Hmmm.   Cars 2 only made $562 million, which is less than a billion dollars.  Better call the Marvel guys in, see what they suggest.”  Because that’s what it looks like.

My nephew is a huge Cars fan.  Are you trying to kill him?   He’s going to need to change his clothes after he sees this trailer.  What’s going to happen when he sees this Days of Thunder knockoff?  Did Disney invest in therapeutic drugs and their plan is to traumatize a generation?  Did you learn nothing from the three generations of moviegoers still complaining about Bambi’s mom?  Do you guys think you’re making Harry Potter and Cars needs to get darker as it goes along?

Look, I get that the first Cars movie was a Doc Hollywood knockoff and the second one was a James Bond parody, but the hyper realistic imagery and near death experience (and that’s just the trailer) are probably not the right direction to take the franchise that inspired this:

About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of, and editor in chief of

Posted on December 2, 2016, in movie review and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: