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Republicans are Master Debaters (Round 5)

bojack-horseman-do-you-get-my-joke

See what I did there?

CNN brought the thirteen (yes, there is still an unwieldy baker’s dozen) Republican Presidential Candidates to Las Vegas last night for the fifth debate in an effort to give Chris Christie an up close view at profitable casinos. Here’s what went down.

CNN went out of their way to embarrass America with their ridiculous countdown and NBA-like setup to a presidential debate while virtually never shepherding the discussion to actually coherency. Instead, Wolf Blitzer essentially let everyone say whatever they felt like, no matter how ridiculous. I did like that the GOP finally got a moderator they wanted and then the crowd roundly booed him when he pressed Ben Carson about the collateral damage that comes with war.

My synopsis of the main debate is as follows:

This was Jeb Bush’s best night; he seemed to rattle Donald Trump. How much this will help him, I couldn’t say, but it was a step in the right direction for him – if it’s not already too late for his candidacy.

Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio dusted it up quite a bit. Rubio doesn’t seem to have any real positions of his own and instead, he seems to be working on making Cruz’s positions sound like that of Rand Paul… for whatever that’s worth.

Donald Trump did what he always does: make broad claims and proposes big undertakings but gave absolutely no indication of how he’d accomplish anything.  His worst moment was when he complained he was being treated unfairly and JEB scored a big point  off him for being a crybaby.

Chris Christie did the, “Aren’t you tired of politics?!?” thing again where he looks right into the camera in an attempt to connect with the folks at home. He spent so much time touting his record as a prosecutor, you’d never know that he’s still the governor of New Jersey.  (There’s a reason for that.)

As usual, Ben Carson made little sense and from the articles and comments I’m seeing last night and this morning, people actually noticed this time.  To be fair, he was worse than usual.

Carly Fiorina said the same thing she’s said in every one of these debates in the exact same way and, I suppose in an effort to show she’s tough, muscled her way into a few conversations, but I thought it just made her look petty. Also, the giant cross she was wearing was kind of hilarious. It wasn’t on a Flava Flav level, but for a presidential candidate, it’s a fair comparison.  She backpedaled a few of her crazier comments from her last showings, which I can’t see helping her.

John Kasich… needs to drop out. He basically did what Jeb did, just not nearly as well… which is saying something.

I guess Rand Paul isn’t crazy enough for the room anymore; he swung at a few people, but nobody really hit back. It’s like everyone has agreed to ignore him in the hope that he’ll go away.

Here’s my Twitter highlights:

star-trek-tng-mr-woof

“It is WORF, madam.”

I really thought it was Kasich, but I guess maybe it was Paul?  Still not sure who coughed, sneezed and wheezed their way through the debate but only when they were off camera.

Context clues helped us all figure out he said Fort Dixx.

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on December 16, 2015, in Politics and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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