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The Crush movie review

the-crush

“Well, look at the time. I’m afraid I’m going to have to be moving along. To another place to live. In… Yemen. I’m going to Yemen. Like Chandler in Friends.  I’ll still be there for you, though – but from Yemen.”

The Crush is one of those horror/suspense comedies where you yell at the protagonist, blissfully unaware that Cary Elwes is portraying a fictional character that can’t hear your through time and space.  And I love every minute of it.

I can’t explain the appeal of The Crush; it’s a stupid movie, but I can’t stop watching it.  You watch the hero make mistake after mistake, never learning a thing (not to mention the fact that a man of 28 should know better), and yet… you watch the beautiful train wreck rumble and crash into its inevitable conclusion.

There’s a pool scene in the trailer that isn’t in the movie. They do talk about how the neighbors have a pool and they’re out-of-town, but that’s it. There’s also an extended bit where Alicia Silverstone pulls the sheet off Cary Elwes and Jennifer Rubin, but that scene ends before that happens.

the-critic-Jeremy-Hawke

“I will bring peace between the Hindu and the Muslim, but first, a tasteful glimpse of me bottom for the ladies.”

The Crush follows a somewhat standard slasher movie plot; it replaces kills with injuries and boobs with butts – for everybody, I might add, which is very unusual as those that aren’t sexually attracted to ladies usually get left out in the cold, but not in this flick!  Another great thing about this movie is the fact that Kurtwood Smith plays the dad.  Of course, he went on to be the dad on That Seventies Show, but at the time, I was all, “Look, it’s the bad guy from Robocop!”  (Back then, I didn’t have to quantify that I meant the original – anyway, I mean the original.)  Nobody does pissed off dad like Kurtwood Smith.  He’s so awesome.

Or just watch Robocop.

No, seriously, check out The Crush.  I haven’t seen all of Alicia Silverstone’s movies, but it’s a performance worth watching, especially considering how new she was to acting.  And Cary Elwes is always great, mask or no mask.  It’s not exactly a horror classic, but at the very least, a 90s nostalgic guilty pleasure.

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on October 23, 2015, in movie review and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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