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Lifetime’s The Unauthorized Full House Story is lamer than it sounds

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said no one involved with the production of The Unauthorized Full House Story

Oh Lifetime; no one does shameless cash grabs like you.  We all know about their Christmas movie factory, but when one knows what they’re looking at, the cheap wigs and stock footage is even more of an eyesore when watching The Unauthorized Full House Story

Everything about this “movie” is cheap looking:  the costumes, the aforementioned wigs, the props, the sets recycles from the The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell “movie” which, when combined with the complete and total lack of attention to detail makes for a both uninteresting and frustrating viewing experience.

When it comes right down to it, the movie is not only cheap, but what’s infinitely worse is how lazy it is.  The dialogue is terrible – it’s not even as good as the dialogue on Full House itself, which is something.

The flick largely centers around Bob Saget, Dave Coulier and John Stamos with particular emphasis on their career, so it’s a big deal when ABC gives Saget his own show in America’s Funniest Home Videos (which many argue is the precursor to YouTube) and how it affects his life, but there’s no time for Dave Coulier’s America’s Funniest People (which I recall being the superior show).  I find this strange because not only must that have been a big moment in his career, but from I can see online, it looks like AFP got cancelled the season before Full House, which must have been a tough time in Coulier’s career, which was essentially what the movie was about.  Yet there was time to discuss Lori Loughlin’s divorce, and if you’re asking yourself, “Who’s Lori Loughlin?” that’s the right question.

Then there’s just general lazy stuff like stock footage of a fashion show, an establishing shot of New York City that has the new World Trade Center rather than the original towers, their inability to realize that the twin boys were played by triplets rather than twins and their inability to get the Olsen girl’s ages right, which is distracting because the audience for this movie knows all this stuff.

I guess Full House means something to me because I grew up watching it and outgrew the show while it was on the air.  It was a thing that was specific to a time and place, a part of our collective past and IT MATTERS THAT THEY HAD THE SET BACKWARDS!  From what I understand, The Unauthorized Full House Story is basically true, but that doesn’t make it a disservice to the people it represents and to the audience that watched the flick.

And by all this, I mean the movie sucks.

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on September 4, 2015, in tv review and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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