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Monthly Archives: August 2015

Turkmenistan Gas Crater of the Karakum Desert (Gate to Hell)

turkmenistan-door-gate-of-to-hell-karakum-desert-gas-crater

Sometimes I’ll hear something on WNYC radio that’s so awesome I have to stop what I’m doing and check it out.  The Turkmenistan Gas Crater of the Karakum Desert (also known as the Gate to Hell) is one of those things.  Read the rest of this entry

Snoop Dogg has the answer to all of life’s questions

snoop dogg

Not only is Snoop Dogg pretty much the coolest person to ever live, he also has the answer to all of life’s questions:  Read the rest of this entry

“Tutti Frutti” was originally about anal sex

Whoever you are, you’ve gotta love Little Richard.  He brought such power and passion to his music.  The Beatles used to copy his signature “woooooo!”  The guy practically invented rock and roll… but I didn’t know they brought in lyricists to clean up “Tutti Frutti” and given that it was 50s, you can see why.  Read the rest of this entry

Princess Peach Toadstool is not subtle

princess-peach-not-subtle

When I was a kid, Peach (or Princess Toadstool or whatever the hell you want to call her) was clear:  she needed help.  When I was a teenager, she was subtle:  “I baked a cake.”  Right.  “Cake.”  (The guys in my class used to say, “I will give you cak,” but I’m pretty sure they weren’t talking about cake.)  The point is that by the time Super Mario Galaxy came around, she had dropped all pretense yet still wasn’t going to write it out word for word, but you get the idea.   Read the rest of this entry

I can has Honda?

i-can-has-civic

Because it’s not enough that they install faulty airbags in cars and then make you wait a few months to get the repair done – they need to park your car from whence it cannot be retrieved.  That was a nice touch. Read the rest of this entry

I Can Has Cheezburger? All Pet Edition

Find out which of my pets can, in fact, has cheezburger.  Read the rest of this entry

Quick Pitch: HBO should do Harry Potter series after Game of Thrones

harry-potter-hbo-pitch

I’ve already got the promo art ready!

Hi HBO!

I know you guys are busy dominating the TV short season with Game of Thrones (although The Walking Dead franchise clearly has its eyes on the crown), but I’ve got a pitch for ya.  Once the race to win the Iron Throne is over, it’s only logical that you find another big project to turn into your next must see series (forgive me if I don’t think Ballers is going to make your subscriber rates jump) and it really ought to be Harry Potter.  Check this out:  Read the rest of this entry

McFarland, USA movie review

McFarland, USA is a Disney Factory Made© inspirational sports movie that will hold your attention during its 129 minute running time and features no surprises at all.  Read the rest of this entry

The FP movie review

There are hardly any movies like The FP and there are basically no trailers that play like this one, either.  I usually talk about trailers in a separate context, but in this case, I have to point out that I completely missed the point the first time I saw the trailer, by which I mean I got this movie’s genre wrong.  You know how Tommy Wiseau retroactively says The Room is  a comedy and not a drama?  This movie is actually a comedy that is played (and shot) as a straight up drama and it works perfectly.  Additional praise to follow.  Read the rest of this entry

“Come urinate with us, Danny – forever and ever…”

come-urinate-with-us-forever-and-ever

The building I work at doesn’t see many children pass through, but there’s been a fair few lately.  I guess it’s summer time, kids are off from school, blah blah blah.  There’s also bathroom construction happening, so there’s limited places to relieve oneself, which brought me to the men’s room to see to twin boys who couldn’t have been more than five years old tag teaming a urinal.  I know everything kids do is supposed to be cute, but I immediately thought of that scene from The Shining.  I quickly backed out of the room and returned to the office, all thoughts of peeing having left my mind as I was now preoccupied with this.  (Except replace the blood with urine – Danny’s reaction would still be the same.)

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel quick movie review

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel stars Richard Gere, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Dev Patel, Bill Nighy and blah blah blah, fart fart fart.  I hope you like watching these actors perform, because this movie has little else to offer.  Read the rest of this entry

Misery quick movie review

(FYI: the trailer gives away too much!)

If someone ever asks you, “What was the last Hitchcock movie?” just say Misery.  I can’t give this flick any higher praise than that – but I guess I’ll try.
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