Primary Colors movie review – special guest blog!

Today’s review of Primary Colors is a special guest blog written by Contemporary Teenager.  Enjoy!  ~jamie

So hi.  Uhm, I watched this movie on the TV in the living room (instead of on my phone like a normal person) with my stupid parents and it was called Primary Colors and I think it was supposed to be educational or something. 


This is me… but I forget which one I am.Text me later or hit my FB, TW or I to the MFing G!

The movie starred that old creepy guy who touched Idina Menzel’s face at the Oscars and he’s playing a total narcisexual who wants to be President and he’s spite married to Mary Poppins’ mom or whatever.  Then this old guy that’s even older than the other old guy (although I looked him up and he looks much younger now than he did almost twenty years ago, so I don’t know what’s up with that… except yes I do and it’s #manysurgeries) shows his junk to some woman who’s like thirty or whatever and nobody calls the cops or videos it on their phone or anything!

Oh yeah, the cell phones in this movie are all weird looking and big for some reason.

Then later, this lady threatens to shoot some guy in his balls because I guess it balances out the other guy taking out his junk… or something?  Honestly, I don’t know.  I was tweeting how #lame this movie is.

Anyway, some other stuff happens,#thisissoboring, some other guy wants to be president and then he can’t be because he pretended to be bisexual or said drugs made him be bisexual or some other reason and everybody finds out because of a tots trust fail.

So the old guy who gropes faces gets to be President and his wife is basically cool with him sexting everyone but, like, in the same room, like, with, you know, his genitals or whatever.

Anyway, I didn’t like it because, like, it was – honestly, like, stupid.  The people in the movie, like, they didn’t do anything except talk a lot so I was bored.




About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of, and editor in chief of

Posted on June 24, 2015, in creative projects, movie review, Politics and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Jamie here – Primary Colors is one of my favorite movies of all time (probably) and certainly my favorite John Travolta role. Emma Thompson is also excellent in this (“We all find a way to survive.”)… but then, pretty much everybody is great in this. Interesting Bill Clinton Roman à clef! (fictional novel based in fact.)

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