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Ranking the Top 5 Rides at EPCOT (and 9 others you should consider)

EPCOT-the-circle-of-life-closed

The Circle of Life is CLOSED.

A long while ago, I talked about WDWR’s best attractions, but now it’s time to get specific.  EPCOT is the proverbial red-headed step child to Walt Disney World Resort’s favorite son, the Magic Kingdom, but there is fun to be had at Every Person Comes Out Tired… especially if you’re over 21.  Today, I shall incur the wrath of Disney enthusiasts everywhere as I Rank the Top 5 Rides at EPCOT and mention 9 others you should consider while you’re at the park.  Let us begin! 

EPCOT-space-ship-earth-2008-welcome-to-the-future

Spaceship Earth
I gotta be honest with ya, I love me some Spaceship Earth.  It’s long and it’s slow… and it’s perfect.  I guess I like sitting in the dark and listening to Judi Dench (the millionaire’s Angela Lansbury).

Mission: Space
I love everything about Mission: Space.  I love the presentation, the setup, the Green/Orange Card option, Gary Sinise… it’s all good.  Just like in life, I always recommend the Orange Card – if you’re physically fit, that is.

Turtle Talk with Crush
This is one of my favorite technological wonders of living in the future and the future is NOW!  This is one of the few times I can remember Disney World trying to be funny and actually pulling it off.

Innoventions East – Sum of all Thrills
Video games might let you design your own roller coaster, but the Sum of all Thrills lets you ride it, too!  It’s fun, creative and borderline educational.  I love it.

Gran Fiesta Tour Starring The Three Caballeros
Donald Duck goes on vacation to Mexico and it’s not like the news at all.  I know most people prefer the original version, but I’m perfectly happy with this one, too.

THIS ENDS MY DEFINITIVE RECOMMENDATIONS
I know, I know, Disney World Enthusiasts… you’re mad at me.  All I ask is that you just hear me out.

Universe of Energy: Ellen’s Energy Adventure
This is worth doing once, and we do drop in on UoE every time we go to EPCOT, but I can’t give it a full recommendation.  I like the idea (adding Ellen was a clever update to the original version of this ride), but the video presentation is just too long.

Journey into Imagination with Figment
This is another one you should do once just to find out what it is and then decide if you want to smell that fart odor again on your own.  We always hit Figment, but for a short ride, it sure does feel long.  I think the real little kids like this ride, but I don’t think it has much adult appeal and kids seem to outgrow it fast.  Check out the post ride area – you’ll see what I mean.

Test Track
Test Track seemed like such a good idea, but now that California Adventure has the definitive version of this ride, you can see just how bad it really does suck.

Living with the Land
Look, this is straight up gross.  “Hey, here are some fish – you can eat them later in one of our restaurants!”  F U, EPCOT – that’s gross.

Soarin’
Here comes the anger.
Look, I know everybody likes Soarin’ but me… I’m sorry, but I just can’t get on board.   (See what I did there?!?  “I just can’t get on board.” You get it.) People get angry waiting on this line (despite the air conditioning), which doesn’t help the situation (I saw an elderly couple nearly murder a security guard and a pack of teens nearly riot over wait times), but the bottom line is I find the editing of the film jarring and if you don’t get a perfect seat (middle, middle, not too high), the illusion is ruined.  Also, I can’t smell any of the odors they pump in (despite getting a nose full at Figment), so I seem to be immune to Soarin’s many charms.

Captain EO
This is one of those things you have to see to believe.  It’s worth seeing once, but I’m not sure it’s something you need to hit every time you visit EPCOT.

The American Adventure
I like The American Adventure, but there’s something a little off about it.  I’ve only seen it a few times and I’m never in a big rush to get back to it… it’s worth checking out once.

IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth
I like this fireworks show, but there are several long periods where I feel like nothing is happening.  If they trimmed the fat and made this show a little tighter (and shorter), that would help a lot.

maelstrom epcot closing

Maelstrom
The Maelstrom is now closed in the Norway section of the World Showcase to make way for a Frozen themed debacle coming in 2016.  I always enjoyed the weirdness that was the Maelstrom; it was one of those things that made EPCOT… EPCOT, you know?  Now that it’s gone, well, an era has ended to say the least.
This Frozen ride better freeze my boys off…

Thanks for reading!  Feel free to leave me a comment let me know how far off the mark I am regarding Soarin’ and Test Track!

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on May 27, 2015, in walt disney world blog posts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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