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5 Reasons to hate Battlefield Earth movie review

battlefield-earth-reviews

ME:  Remember when I sorta hinted that I was going to review Battlefield Earth?

YOU:  No.  I don’t visit your site nearly as often as you think I do.  Haven’t you noticed your traffic has been static for 3 years?

ME:  …

Anyway, fifteen-ish years after I saw it the first time and hated it, I rewatched Battlefield Earth… and it’s worse than I remember.

Look vs. Tone
There’s something about the look of this movie that doesn’t fit with the tone, and I don’t mean the Dutch angles.  I think it has something to do with the harsh lighting – even when they’re outside.  It’s like it has this realistic, gritty visual look that exposes every flaw (John Travolta’s fake hands look terrible) mixed with this ridiculous plot and it’s like a peanut butter and sandpaper sandwich.  Or something.

Speaking of Dutch Angles
This movie has even more Dutch Angles than Thor.  And like the director, I don’t know what purpose they serve.  It’s very, “The camera is sideways!  Now it’s art!”

Performances
Everybody is bad in this movie.  I don’t know if it’s bad casting, bad directing, the script/source material, or if nobody cared because they signed their contract and then read the script… It’s just not working.  And we’re not talking about bad actors, either:  John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker… nobody turns in a passable performance in this movie.

Someone is going to Notice You Ripped Off Mark Twain, and It’s ME!
There’s a joke somewhere in the second half of the flick where they’re talking about how the lines and numbers on the map aren’t actually on the ground and they must have been wiped away over time.  This joke falls flat but more than that, I’m nearly positive they (L. Ron Hubbard?) ripped it right out of Tom Sawyer Abroad.  Big. MISTAKE!  I am FULLY VERSED on obscure Twain novels!

The Plot
So…  much… wrong. The teleporting plot hole, the stupidity of a race that has mastered interstellar travel (gold bars, amongst other things), the flight simulator, the jets, that guy’s sacrifice at the end of the movie and how it won’t end…   This is one of the worst plot experiences you can have while watching a movie.  And it doesn’t help that the flick is two hours long.

Is Battlefield Earth so bad it’s good or is it just a miserable experience?  I’m really not sure…   I can’t wrap my head around its putrid stench of evil.  Sure, it’s a terrible flick, but I can’t quite decide how I feel about its awfulness – at least I’ve given you a good idea of what you’re getting into if you decide to watch this miserable piece of filth.

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on April 16, 2015, in movie review and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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