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Oh Hollywood, you so crazy…

movies-coming-soon

Oh Hollywood, you so crazy

No, not in a fun 1990s “your absurd antics amuse me but generally do no harm” kind of way, but instead, more like in a horrible please come up with a new idea and stop running everything into the ground kind of way.

THAT way.  And that way sucks.  Observe: 

Emma Watson will play Belle in the live action Beauty and the Beast movie, which makes sense, I guess, because she’s played a character that likes books before and at least has the same hair color as her animated counterpart.  Why Disney feels the need to make live action versions of movies they’ve already made before is hard to fathom… wait, no it’s not.  It’s money.

There’s a zombie parody movie coming out called The Walking Deceased. It will parody The Walking Dead, Zombieland, Warm Bodies, World War Z, Shaun of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead and Night of the Living Dead because the producers are idiots and didn’t realize (or don’t care) that several of these movies comedies and are at least borderline parodies… not that zombie movies are especially serious anyway.

Why is there a Ted 2? Because the first one made money, I guess. (Yeah, that movie made $500 million dollars for some reason.)  Does anybody seriously want to see a movie where Ted is fighting for his civil rights? And why the hell would they need to prove Ted has a soul (or whatever) for his wife to get artificially inseminated? Doesn’t one just pay for that? Just… I can’t… why? Please, Hollywood, please stop letting Seth MacFarlane make movies. Please. One day, you’re going to give him a giant budget and the flick is going to bomb… let’s just say I warned you.

I’m not sure we need this new Ghostbusters movie, but at least they’re doing something different – an all female squad with excellent talent, in the personage of Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon. I am also pleased they picked Paul Feig to direct – another solid choice. But come one, we barely needed Ghostbusters 2… we don’t really need this flick to exist.

Speaking of things we don’t need: a television adaptation of Uncle Buck. This movie turned into something special because of John Candy and Macaulay Culkin – that’s it. There is no reason to do this… you need to be at least 30 to even get the reference! I… f#ck… this is so stupid.  If they’re going to be lazy, they could at least have the common courtesy to call it something different rather than trade-off the performances of a prodigy and a man who’s not alive to call this what it is:

LAZY BULLSHIT!

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on February 3, 2015, in movie review, tv review and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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