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Monthly Archives: June 2014

Dracula Untold (movie trailer)

Let’s all let out a collective sigh and watch the Dracula Untold trailer.

Me thinks the movie trailer doth say too much! Read the rest of this entry

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Thoughts on Game of Thrones, episode 4, season 2

game-of-thrones-logoI hope no one finds this offensive, but my theory that Game of Thrones is written, directed and produced by the world’s smartest twelve year old boys has been confirmed by this episode. Read the rest of this entry

Justice League: War (quick movie review)

Justice League: War is based on the first few issues from Justice League’s New 52 reboot in the comics a few years back. I thought it sucked back then, and it sucks now.

And by sucks, I mean this movie is boring.

Seriously, it’s really boring. I’ve seen this movie within the last month and I couldn’t remember the plot. At all. I had to look it up and then it came back to me. That is not a good sign. Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox wasn’t great, but at least I remembered what it was about. This… I didn’t care. The movie totally failed at getting me to care about how the Justice League gets together, if anything bad happens to the people of earth, the heroes… I don’t care. The only really memorable moment in the movie is when Batman tells The Flash "You do clean, efficient work."

Justice League: War is a snoozefest – I give it a 2 out of 10. How do you screw up a movie where the Justice League fights Darkseid for the fate of earth. Like this.

Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (quick movie review)

I gotta tell yah, these DC Animated Universe Justice League movies have gone way downhill.

I love the idea of time traveling to the past creating a mishap in the future, but frankly, Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox just doesn’t work. Nobody gives a rats butt about The Flash’s mom. I did like what they did with Batman here, but ultimately, this movie is a few bagels short of a dozen… or something something metaphor.

The characters in this movie… Oy, The Reverse Flash… he looks like The Zoid’s evil brother or something. This guy gives Wario a lot of credibility… you know what I’m saying? I guess I’m saying that the movie’s antagonist sucks and I’m not even sure how he’s aware of the paradox or why The Flash himself can’t figure it out. It’s just… well, this movie is ass is what it is.

It’s not boring, but I can’t recommend Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox. I’m giving it a 4 out of 10. There’s no rewatchability here and it’s barely worth a look for even hardcore fans.

Thoughts on Game of Thrones, episode 3, season 2

game-of-thrones-logoThis beginning/midish point of season 2 of Game of Thrones is kinda plodding. The little that is going on isn’t especially interesting and it’s as though every single scene is developing a different thread of the overall plot. I think I’d rather they devote each episodes to two plot threads instead of five, but that’s life. Read the rest of this entry

Thoughts on Game of Thrones, episode 2, season 2

game-of-thrones-logoNow that Season 2 of Game of Thrones is in full swing and the characters continue to multiply, it’s become more of a “I at least know who these people are, so I’ll care about them” sort of thing rather than trying to sort this all out in my head. Hopefully, after a few more episodes, everything will become clear. Or clearer. Read the rest of this entry

Thoughts on Game of Thrones, episode 1, season 2

game-of-thrones-logoSeason 2 of  Game of Thrones starts with more of the same:  King Joffrey is a dick.  I think we already knew that, but then, this scene isn’t about him.  And so my journey into character fatigue begins… Read the rest of this entry

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (quick movie review)

Everything else got rebooted, and in 2011, it was Planet of the Apes turn. I did like this movie, but it contains absolutely no surprises. Did you watch the trailer? That’s as good a summary as any.

I liked the allusions to the original: Caesar, Bright Eyes, “Get Your Paws Off Me, You Damn Dirty Ape,” all that stuff was fun. I have no idea where Andy Serkis ends and digital animators begin, but the performance is excellent. James Franco… you know, it’s James Franco. He’s a fine actor, but he’s just very James Franco. It was fun to see John Lithgow do his thing, particularly doing something I’d never seen him do before.

The pacing is a little slow… I thought for sure this movie was over two hours, but it actually clocks in at 1:46. The bad guys are all super flat an uninteresting, especially the jerk and the ape reserve… it does help the audience cheer for Caesar, because you do want him to triumph over the bad guys, but then, it seems like you’re supposed to cheer for James Franco, and there’s really not much to cheer about as the movie goes on.

Not only does this movie not doing anything super risky (although I did appreciate the strong animal rights message) or surprising, it’s very clear exactly how the next sequel will go. You can tell exactly how humanity will fall and the apes will take their place as the dominate species on the planet, so we can’t expect any surprises in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, either.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes is what it promises – no more, no less. I liked it, but I certainly didn’t love it: I’m giving it a 7 out of 10. It does a lot of things right, but it’s kinda plodding and takes no risks.

Thoughts on Game of Thrones, episode 10, season 1

Here’s a video of me rambling about season 1 in general if you’re so inclined – some specific points follow in prose form!

game-of-thrones-logoHey, where’s the finale, season 1 of Game of Thrones? I demand action! I demand excitement! I demand… seriously? Boobs? That’s GoT’s answer to EVERYTHING! Read the rest of this entry

Thoughts on Game of Thrones, episode 9, season 1

game-of-thrones-logoWell, we’ve finally come to it – the 9th episode of season 1 and finally, Game of Thrones has let the foreshadowing pay off. Read the rest of this entry

Thoughts on Game of Thrones, episode 8, season 1

game-of-thrones-logoEpisode 8 is a kinda in between episode – it just sorta sets up what’s going to happen in episodes 9 and presumably, 10. It’s not that nothing happens in this episode of Game of Thrones, but certainly, not a lot happens.   Read the rest of this entry

Daily Gif: My @Nellachronism’s request

I guess I need 20 bucks in Internet high fives because here we are:

Nellachronism-nostalgia-chick-freddy-got-fingered-hot-dogs

Over the last few months, I’ve become a fan of the Nostalgia Chick show and Twitter, so now, I find myself following show stars @thelindsayellis and @Nellachronism on Twitter, came upon the above request and… yeah.  It’s Saturday morning and I’m editing together a woman getting hit in the face with hot dogs.  Life is most unusual.

(In case you’re wondering, the clips are from the freddy got fingered episode.)

 

 

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