3 Things Nobody Tells You About Getting A CT Scan
I had to get a CT Scan of my sinuses because they are a-holes. It’s no big deal, but I did have to stop what I was doing and get my X-ray computed tomography on. Before I could get the scan done, I had to get approved by the insurance company, have the doctor fax the imagining center a prescription and answer about a thousand questions, including:
Do you have high blood pressure?
Have you ever had surgery on the scanned area?
Have you ever burped, farted or sneezed or coughed?
Who’s your favorite Beatle? (HINT: "Ringo" is not an acceptable answer!)
But there’s one question they don’t ask that they really should AND two things they should mention before the scan starts that nobody tells you about.
There’s no place to rest your arms, so… I dunno. Do your best.
My scan only took a few moments, so it’s not a bid deal, but there is absolutely no place to rest your arms, and when lying down, that’s a bummer. You’ve just got to awkwardly rest your hands on your thighs and try not to move while the million dollar x-ray imaging device is taking pictures of your insides.
This is going to get hot. Don’t freak out!
Look, I don’t know what radiographic images are or how the machine generates them, but it gets hot. Not uncomfortably hot, mind you, but hot. Noticeably hot. As in, "Hey, is this thing supposed to get hot? Because I was gonna get this scan done yesterday, but it was moved to today due to equipment failure, so… is this f#cking thing going to explode or what?" But again, you have to stay still, so you can’t ask this question when the moment arrives.
Have you ever experienced feelings of claustrophobia?
Yeah, they really need to ask this question. Like, on the phone, before one arrives. The imaging center kept me on the phone for ten minutes, asking my about the size and consistency of the bowel movements of my great aunt Tessy, but no one ever mentioned that my head would be confined to a restricted area for a few moments. I don’t know what it’s like to be a claustrophobic, I’ve never experienced claustrophobia, but I presume that if one was claustrophobic and if you’re like me and don’t know what a CT scan is and can’t be bothered to take five seconds to look it up, I presume you walk in that room and maybe freak right the f#ck out when you see the machine. Because… they put my head in there, and things spun around. It didn’t bother me, but I can see how some people might be very upset by the very prospect, never mind the experience.
Well, I survived the experience, and now I know – and now YOU know – and knowing, after all, is half the battle.
(At this time, the Canadian Mounted Police would like me to remind you that surprise is also half the battle. Kevin Costner also chimes in by saying that while surprise is half the battle, many things are half the battle… but we should concentrate on the whole battle. So… yeah, do that.)