Captain America Patriot Cologne is a thing that exists


It’s MY attack plan.

Some folks might want to be Captain America, but Dr. Girlfriend realized I want to smell like him.

She’s not wrong.

I’m sure you’re wondering:  What does a patriot smell like?  Here’s the info right from the Captain’s mouth:


If you have to ask what it smells like, then this cologne is not reserved for you, but we’ll get back to that in a second.


Captain America Patriot Cologne smells like green lime (that’s fresh green lime, by the way), white pepper (What the hell is that?), dry oak wood (?), sandalwood (double ?) and tequila accords (that’s like a Honda Accord that smells like tequila, I presume).


But who should wear this cologne?  Me, that’s who.  I’m a “confident, stand-up to bullies, hard working average Joe.”  Hey, this cologne is “both reserved and sexy” – like a moniker on a motorcycle helmet!

Well, there you have it:  it’s Captain America cologne.  I smell like a Star Spangled Avenger!



About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of, and editor in chief of

Posted on April 2, 2014, in comic book reviews, movie review and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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