The Giant Mechanical Man (movie review)

Look, there’s no nice way to say this, so I’ll just come right out with it: The Giant Mechanical Man sucks a giant mechanical wiener. The most entertaining part of the movie was when some background character played the theme to “Entertainment Tonight” on the piano.

This. This is the height of entertainment in this movie.

And now, a quick word from the non protagonists of this film:
Hi! I’m super prescriptive and annoying! I’m flatly drawn and interchangeable with all of my counterparts! If you thought Malin Åkerman and Rich Sommer were annoying as Jenna Fischer’s sister and brother-in-law, then wait till you get a load of Topher Grace!

The movie pushes this idea that people feel like they don’t belong in the world, but one person can make you feel like you DO belong. The problem is, the movie’s world is beyond unrealistic. NO ONE could ever “fit in” in the world presented by this movie. The only truly reasonable person in this movie is the boss at the zoo – and she folds like Superman on laundry day at the slightest provocation, so even she’s a bit ridiculous. Everyone else in the film is too mean (and insane), but the boss is too nice.

Whoever cut the trailer did a good job – I’ll give this movie that much credit. I’d say they should re-cut the entire film in this snappy style, but that would turn it into a short… and that’s what this feels like. This feels like it was originally written as a high concept, tightly written short somebody wrote and then they expanded it into a feature… and blam-o. It’s a catastrophe. The dialogue is awful, the story isn’t especially engaging, the protagonists are weak and the supporting roles are poorly written… but, the movie at least has decent structure. I can’t recommend The Giant Mechanical Man to anyone who wants to see a good movie, but it’s not the worst flick I’ve ever seen. I’m giving it a 4 out of 10 and I’m doing my best to never think about it again.

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of, and editor in chief of

Posted on March 20, 2014, in movie review and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I loved it, but I also loved Pluto Nash, so my opinions are questionable at best.

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