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"Too Close" by Next (what in the hell is this song about, anyway?)

"Too Close" was released in 1997 by Next. It’s got a smooth, slick sound and full harmonies. I’ve never been one to have a great grasp on what people are actually saying, but "You’re making it hard for me" got my attention and I decided I needed to take a closer look at the lyrics.

I wonder if she could tell I’m hard right now, hmmm

OK, so much for metaphor. Guess we’re not burying the lead here, huh? I guess when they sing "You’re making it hard for me," they’re talking about ‘ol Mr. Penis.

Yeah, come on, dance for me baby, ha ha, yeah
Ut oh, you feel that? Alright
Come on, don’t stop now
You done did it, come on, uh, yeah, alright, hold on

"You done did it" kinda sounds like he’s blaming "baby" for his erection and she is now responsible for said erection. I gotta tell you, guys, I don’t think that argument is going to hold up at the club, at home or in court.

[1] – Baby when we’re grinding
I get so excited
Ooh, how I like it
I try but I can’t fight it
Oh, you’re dancing real close
Cuz it’s real, real slow
(You know what you’re doing, don’t you)
You’re making it hard for me

See, the "You’re making it hard for me" line can be deceptive if you’re not listening closely. If you just hear:

you’re dancing real close
Cuz it’s real, real slow
You’re making it hard for me

and you didn’t hear anything before that (or didn’t take to the trouble to process it because this song has a sweet bass line), then this song could be about anything. I just assumed that we men folk were all thinking about the same thing, but, being a benefit of the doubt kinda guy, I never thought someone would devote an entire song to their grind-induced erection.

That’s my mistake.

All the songs on you requested
You’re dancing like you’re naked

Wait, wait, wait. Stop right there. Are you saying that you’re so familiar with naked dancing that you know it when you see it, clothes on or off? Or is "dancing like you’re naked" a metaphor for sex? As in, "You’re dancing like we’re having sex." Maybe?

Oh, it’s almost like we’re sexing (oh yeah)

OK, there we go. Should have been patient.

Yeah boo, I like it
No, I can’t deny it
But I know you can tell
I’m excited, oh girl

Yes, I’m sure the ladies are aware of protruding erections during grind sessions. (Or, as I used to call it, "The Ass-Crotch Ritual." I can’t remember why I called it that back in the 90s, but… that’s what I called it. We thought that was funny as hell for some reason.)

Anyway, here’s where the lady chimes in:

[2] – Step back you’re dancing kinda close
I feel a little poke coming through
On you

Oh snap! She said, "little poke" – take that, sucka! "Little," huh? KA BOOM!
(I realize that’s not supposed to be smack talk, but whatever.)

Now girl I know you felt it
But boo, you know I can’t help it

Now if the argument that the man is making is that grinding’s only purpose is to create sexual arousal in a man, I’d have to agree. If you’re gonna grind, something bound to come up. (Get it? You get it.)

You know what I wanna do

Pardon me, sir, but I do not, in fact, know what you want to do. You could be referring to any number of things, but most specifically, I presume you want to continue the grinding.

[Repeat 1]

Baby us dancing so close
Ain’t a good idea
Cuz I’mma want you now and here
The way that you shake it on me
Makes me want you so bad sexually
Oh girl

Huh, I guess he didn’t mean "keep grinding" after all.

[Repeat 2]

[Repeat 1 twice]

I love when you shake it like that, ah, ah, ah
I see that you like it like that, oh, oh, oh
I love when you shake it like that, ah, ah, ah
I see that you like it like that, oh, oh, oh

Meh. This is just filler.

[Repeat 1 while:]

I like the way you move
You’re making me want you
Oh the way you move
I like those things you do
But you’re a little too close

And more filler.

So there you have it. I know I’m really hammering this point hard, but this is an entire song about an erection – or more specially, an entire song about how grinding results in erections. It’s sorta baffling, but they’re not wrong, and if you don’t pay attention to the lyrics, is a good sounding song and certainly worth listening to when it’s on.

Thanks for reading! Check out more what in the hell is this song about, anyway? posts!

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on February 27, 2014, in music review, what the hell is this song about anyway and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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