Monthly Archives: December 2013

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark Broadway review

Oh Spider-Man, you’re so friendly and neighborhood…ee. Our relationship has never been great, but this… This makes The Amazing Spider-Man look like Citizen Cane. The “this” in question is Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, which closes on January 4th here in New York City. Read the rest of this entry 2013 statistics in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. CreativeJamie.Com was viewed about 47,000 times in 2013. If this site were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 17 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

5 Points on The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug – a movie review

I finally got around to seeing the latest J. R. R. Tolkien/Peter Jackson jam, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, and it did not disappoint – well, not me, at least.  If the movie did pizz you off, I can certainly understand why.  Also:  check out my reviews of The Hobbit:  An Unexpected Journey here (written) and here (video). Read the rest of this entry

Like the Captain America of Old, Chris Evans Tell Us What We Need to Hear


“I think the girls only know the one song… but I’ll see what I can do.”

If you follow us on Twitter, you’re cool – but you also know I’m not a fan of this new volume of Captain America. The writing is boring and the character’s all wrong. Old School Captain America always knew what to do because he’s not just the champion of ideals, he is the ideal, and actor Chris Evans, who portrays the Star Spangled Avenger on the big screen, fits that tradition like a glove.

In an interview he gave to The Advocate (which I cannot find – thanks Google!), he had this to say on gay marriage:

“Are you kidding me? It’s insane that civil rights are being denied people in this day and age. It’s embarrassing and it’s heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I’m completely in support of gay marriage. In 10 years we’ll be ashamed that this was an issue.”

SWISH! Did the Captain hit the nail on the head or what? Chris Evans deserves some big ups for not wimping out and letting his shield fly. Good job, Cap – now go punch us some bad guys!

Google Uses the Power of Triangles and the Letter G to Control the Universe

I’m a happy Google user. I like their products and nitpicking aside, I don’t have any complaints. We live in Google’s world now – we just sort of woke up here one day, but how’d that happen? It’s simple: triangles. Google has utilized the power of the triangle and repetitive use of the letter G to take over the world!

Triangles, as you well know, have long been revered as mystic symbols by both the ancient and modern world because, unlike a circle or a square, you can turn a triangle 90 degrees and it looks different while the other shapes do not. Obviously. Duh. Pointing a triangle up means male, down means female… opposite stuff like that. And then there’s stuff that comes in threes, like the past, present and future, celebrity deaths and, of course, the Holy Trinity (Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Joe DiMaggio.) Anyway, triangles are gangsta.

As aforementioned, Google runs the world: they disseminate information (and doodles!) and own some of the most popular websites on the web. ( is number one and is number 3, so that means pretty much everyone uses Google for something. Oh, and is number fifteen, so… yeah, also Google.) Just accept that Google is the most powerful entity on earth (followed closely by Michael Bloomberg, who some how changed the New York City term limit law so he could run for another term) and now focus on how they did it: again, triangles. You think I’m joking? I am NOT joking! Look at their icons! Look at all the triangles! You might say, "Oh, that’s just poor design – they all look so similar, I can barely tell them apart. It’s a good thing YouTube and Play aren’t on the same line in that new drop down! And why does the icon for Drive look like the recycle symbol? Anyway, the triangles are a coincidence."

To which I respond: I DISAGREE, SIR/MADAM! Look how many triangles they wedged into the Play icon! And the Google maps icon! That’s no mistake! And the Drive icon is really just a big triangle pointing up (So Drive is a dude?) instead of pointing to the right like YouTube and Play! Look how they wedged a triangle into the News and Calendar icons! Those don’t need to be there! And GMAIL! LOOK AT THE GMAIL ICON! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!

While I’m talking about the icons, Search and Google+? I can barely tell you guys apart. I know Google is all about the G, but somebody needs to fix that. And I get that Mr. G has some sort of weird malevolent-funk, hypnotic power, but… I…

Oh Golly, that’s Good how Great the letter G is…

What was I saying? Oh yeah, it’s all Triangles and Gs, and it’s how they maintain power. You might not believe me now, but when Google opens a new world headquarters that’s shaped like a pyramid and has a giant G on each side, maybe you’ll begin to understand exactly what’s happening here… but by then, it’ll be too late. We’ll all be wearing Google Glass, watching YouTube on our Android phones and tablets while ordering the latest Chrome Cast on our Chrome Books while simultaneously using voice to text to document our thoughts on BlogSpot.

Huh, I suddenly have an irresistible desire to join the tips of my thumbs and then the tips of my index fingers together… no. No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kick Ass 2 movie review

This is one of those trailers that includes several lines that don’t actually appear in the movie.

I finally got around to seeing Kick Ass 2 and while I wasn’t necessarily disappointed, the movie is far from perfect and certainly lacks the charm of the first installment.
Read the rest of this entry

“Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney” – the Unholy Grail of Christmas Carols

Why, why, why does this exist?  Why would Ella Fitzgerald, the “First Lady of Song,” the “Queen of Jazz,” why, I ask you all, why would “Lady Ella” record such a song?

Santa Claus got stuck in my chimney,
Stuck in my chimney, stuck in the chimney
Santa Claus got stuck in my chimney
When he came last year

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5 Things I Never Payed Much Attention To From A Christmas Story


This trailer is terrible, but it does at least show many key scenes from the movie.

Like many other folks, I’ve seen A Christmas Story an uncountable number of times because it’s one of the best movies ever.  Every image pops right off the screen, every beat is perfectly crafted, every line is impeccably delivered… and so on.  Since to list everything that is great about this movie is to mention every single second of footage, today, I’ll just point out a few things that I’ve seen a million times before but just never gave much thought to.   Read the rest of this entry

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Christmas Ornaments


This section of our Christmas tree is particularly safe thanks to these Star Wars: The Clone Wars Christmas Ornaments because light sabers and shiz. Ah, the magic of the Holidays and the power to dismember your enemies – it’s my kind of Christmas!

Frosty the Snowman has a surprise for you and the Bumble is drunk


Well, I guess it’s true: a picture really is worth a thousand words. Just what in the hell were they thinking when they placed Frosty’s hat in that precarious position? And who designed the Bumble’s face? He’s clearly mangled!
Such is a 21st century Christmas.

Merry In-Laws movie review

I’d swear I’ve seen a “my parents are magic” movie before, but I can’t seem to remember when.  However, Merry In-Laws has Cheers alumni George Wendt and Shelly Long, so I thought this  could have potential.

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Oh Hai, Radio Stations that only play Christmas Music; why you playin' "Linus and Lucy?"

When it comes to Christmas Albums, the Vince Guaraldi Trio’s soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas is at the top of the heap. And, since, it’s a soundtrack, the album includes the signature song from the Peanuts specials, that being "Linus and Lucy." And here’s where we run into an issue. Read the rest of this entry

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