Oh Hai, Hunters – whatcha wearing?
Oh Hai, Hunters!
It’s me, Jamie! We don’t know each other, but I wanted to drop a line anyway. You see, as a non-hunter (a vegan, actually), I realize that we’re never going to get along, but I do have one question I want to throw your way:
I don’t understand the way you folks dress. I see that you’re wearing camouflage because you’re in the woods and you want to blend in, but you’re also wearing orange jackets so other hunters don’t shoot you, so… wait, let me start over.
The purpose of wearing camouflage is to blend in with the environment. Since you’re in the woods, you’re wearing that classic green, brown, black whatever print… but wait, who are you trying to avoid? Not the other hunters – because the orange vest is the official “Don’t shoot me, I’m a person” uniform of the woods, so why not just wear all orange? Because then Tommy Lee Jones would shoot you, I guess. But the vest breaks up your camo… this is like some kind of broken logic loop. I don’t get it.
But then, deer aren’t exactly the most elusive of creatures (I mean, come on, where’s the challenge in that? These guys can’t even figure out how to cross the street!), so I guess fashion sense is just the least of our misunderstandings.