Election Day in New Jersey wouldn't be the same without Jeff Boss

Another election day has rolled around and I’m pleased to say that we’ve got Jeff Boss on the ballot again – this time, for Governor. Sure, there are lots of third parties out there, but no one does third party politics quite like Mr. Boss and his "party," calling itself NSA Did 911, which may be the most subtle political party name ever. The cherry on top of the proverbial sundae is, of course, his fantastic sample ballot statement.

Let’s read this masterpiece of literature together. It’ll be fun!

I am a whistleblower on the National Security Agency. I was in a meeting in March of 2001 in DC, with a family member who was top highest clearance in the NSA.

So members of the NSA, the agency that bugged Germany’s Chancellor Merkel’s phone for over ten years without the Germans finding out about it and supposedly kept this from at least President Obama until recently just let’s their family members sit in on secret meetings?

This NSA agent was helping Ramsi Yousef in March of 2001 (Ramsi Yousef was responsible for the 1993 bombing at the World Trade Center) call his uncle Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (considered the mastermind of the 911 attacks), from the NSA secret prison in Alexandria, Virginia. Ramsi Yousef was supposed to be serving a life sentence in Florence, Colorado, but the NSA had him moved to Virginia to help the NSA arrange the 911 attacks.

Go on…

This NSA agent was providing phone cards and other help to Ramsi Yousef to call the 911 hijackers, and help arrange the 911 attacks. This NSA agent was talking about flying 12 planes into buildings on the same day. I never heard the dates or names of the buildings. But on September 10, 2001, I was told to go to a new office in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. I was yelled at by 4 supervisors not to be late. I was late. It was my first day at the WTC. The NSA knew that after that I would know they arranged the attack, and the NSA wanted me dead!

Let’s think about this for a second. If the most powerful government in the history of the world’s most secret security agency let you sit in on a meeting (for no reason other than you had a visitor’s pass from your brother in law or something) where they planned an attack against their own citizens on their own soil and they let you just walk away? And then, you were ‘told to go to a new office at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001’ by someone (?) because presumably, you would be killed? That is the most convoluted way to kill someone I have ever heard – ever Jason Bourne is giving you an "Oh, come on!" right now. Wouldn’t it be far simpler to just send someone to sever a gas line in your home while you were asleep rather than hope you were killed in an attack that, even the planners must have realized, would certainly have survivors? I’m just saying, coordinating a complicated attack takes intelligence, and when you want to get rid of a known threat, you don’t leave things to chance like that… or, to simplify, if the American government wants you dead, you’re going to die.

Since then, I have had numerous assassination attempts, including 8 car bombs.

I stand corrected! Eight car bombs! That’s what I’m talking about! And you survived all eight car bombs. ?

By creating a culture of fear the NSA has passed the Patriot Act. Now every phone call, email, TV, and computer is being used to spy on everyone. Everyone is being watched all the time by the NSA. Our Civil liberties, Constitution, and Democracy are gone.

No mentioned of Edward Snowden here? A missed opportunity, I feel.

The NSA is so scared of my story, and the truth being told that tens of thousands I have campaigned to have been threatened with death if they vote for me, donate money, or tell anyone my story after they got my campaign literature. I now have over 300+ people on DVD saying they were threatened and given $20,000 from the NSA to keep quiet. I have over 40+ affidavits from people saying the same thing. I have over 20+ U.S. Army servicemen in uniform on DVD saying they were threatened with death by the NSA if they told anyone. I even have Al Gore confirming the NSA did the 911 attacks using a NSA secret code.

Please tell me you put this video on YouTube… nope, can’t find it – although he does have videos on YouTube, but I’m not seeing Al Gore anywhere. I imagine he sells it at public appearances .

I have been on the ballot in the past for President (2008,2012), U.S. Senate, Congress,Governor of NJ (16,000+ votes).

Uhm, OK, Jeff. Thanks for telling us. Is this, like… your resume line?

The NSA blocks my story from being told in the media. My telephone calls, and website are being blocked or altered by the NSA.

If the NSA could block things, don’t you think they would have blocked the Snowden leaks from getting published? And the NSA is altering your telephone calls? What, in real time? How? Do they use the voice transformer from Scream or something? That’s kinda awesome.

CLERK

Dominoes, pick up or delivery?

JEFF BOSS

Hello, Dominoes.

CLERK
Uhm, hi. Pickup or del–

JEFF BOSS

Do you like scary movies?

CLERK

[sigh] I’d like to sell you some pizza, sir. Pickup or del–

JEFF BOSS

No… I am your father!

CLERK

Jeff, is that you again? Look, the voice alternator doesn’t let you do an impression of any movie character…

I have filed 24 complaints at the FBI and U.S. Attorney’s office with no response. The NSA agents in these agencies block my complaints.

Really? No one in the FBI or US Attorney’s office responds to your well written allegations? Shocking.

Oh… we’re done with this part?

Things I’ll do as Governor: $14.00 minimum wage; Legalize Marijuana; no killing at the animal shelters; Free internet college-all degrees; Meadowlands casino. I support the Unions. Vote for Jeff Boss and take back America.

Whoa… where did this come from? I’m not sure if that minimum wage figure is doable, but I’m certainly voting yes on the minimum wage increase ballot initiative. Marijuana? As long as you tax it, that’s fine. No kill at the animal shelters is awesome – but we’ll need more money and facilities to do that right, but we can use the Marijuana tax money, so that’ll work out. By "internet college," I assume you mean online courses via existing New Jersey colleges and universities… and while I don’t know if we can do that for free, we certainly should look into doing it at low cost, instead of charging more (schools charge some BS technology fee), which is a complete and total travesty. A Meadowlands Casino is a no go – the Giants and Jets will have you in court for the rest of your natural life, not to mention environmental concerns, the lobby out of Atlantic City and the already insane traffic problem in the area. He supports the unions? All of them, I guess… but yeah, I’m basically pro union, so we’ve actually done well together on your ‘things to do’ list!

Well, I will say this: some of his proposals are tantalizing. Too bad Jeff Boss is nuts.

About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on November 5, 2013, in Politics and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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