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Oh Hot Wheels, you so crazy…

Hi, I’m Jamie, and if you didn’t already know, I’m a crotchety old man.   Hence the following complaint (Do your best to imagine a garbled old man voice while reading the text below):

In my day (the eighties) we had die-cast metal Hot Wheels and we liked it that way.   If your friend pissed you off, you’d just bean him in the head with a corvette or a station wagon and he’d know you meant business.  Now these. ..  These pathetic substitutes for Hot Wheels are not only poorly constructed,  but look at this ridiculous marketing tie in!  What kids want to play with the VW from Footloose or the convertible that was featured in Beverly Hills Cop?  Why are they selling toys now that should have marketed to me twenty-five years ago!?!

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But don’t worry, children of today.   Hot Wheels is here, ready to disappoint you.   You kids like Batman, right?  Well then, here you go:

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I stuck my hand into the pic just to illustrate how small the Bat-Pod is.   I know it’s Hot Wheels,  but damn – imagine how small Batman is…  Well,  you have no choice but to imagine because this damn thing doesn’t come with Batman.   It’s not like it’s the Bat Mobile and kids can just pretend he’s in there – and without the packaging,  it’s just a weird-looking riderless bike.

You can do better than this,  Hot Wheels.   I know you can – I’ve seen it.  Just make quality cars that emulate the real things and call it a day – or make the van from Short Circuit and see how well that sells.

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on July 8, 2013, in Batman, observations, photo and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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