The Amazing Spider-Man (movie review)

the-amazing-spider-man-movie-posterIf you make an average to below average action movie, you would be wise to avoid putting the word ‘amazing’ in the title – such is the fate of The Amazing Spider-Man.

I should first explain that I’m not a big fan of the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man films. The first one is… fine, I guess. I liked the scene where the Green Goblin made Spider-Man choose between saving innocents and Mary Jane and we got that really awesome reflection of the options in Spidey’s eyes. The second one was… OK. There were some cool action scenes, but overall, I wasn’t fine. The third one was just an all out cluster @!#?@!. Right, Q-bert?


That a boy.

Every character in this movie have severe emotional problems on some level and their actions are baffling to say the least. Also, despite some really cool action, the movie is boring and the climax is uninteresting.

Anyway, now that you know where I’m coming from, I had neither high hopes or expectations for this new Spider-Man. I liked Andrew Garfield in The Social Network and he seemed like a fine choice to take over for Maguire as Spider‑Man and Emma Stone – doesn’t everybody love Emma Stone? Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben and Sally Field as Aunt May? Uhm, yes please! Still, despite this movie’s star power and action, it’s kinda boring. Here’s just a few reasons – and I should mention there are spoilers below, but at this point, I assume you saw the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies, or at least the first one, so they’re not all real spoilers.

Rephrasing “With great power comes great responsibility” was a waste of time.
I get that if you’re going to have Marin Sheen in the picture, you might as well have him speak eloquently, but on the other hand, it’s a comic book movie about a dude in a red and blue spandex suit. Also, when it comes to Spider-Man dialogue, it doesn’t get more iconic than “With great power comes great responsibility,” so it’s also kinda ridiculous that it’s not in the movie. It’d be like Superman without his super suit… what? That happened? And the TV show ran for like 8 seasons? That’s crazy!

Spider powers make you better at skate boarding/making the movie boring
The sequence of Spider-Man getting his powers and learning how to use them was boring. The skate boarding was putting me to sleep (I guess spider powers improve balance and also teach you how to ollie?) and the first person shots of Spidey running through the streets… I dunno, they didn’t feel right. Maybe they were too slow or something, but I didn’t feel like I was running through the streets with Spider-Man, or as Spider-Man, or whatever… it just didn’t work.

The Lizard is going to do what now?
The characters explained it several times, but I’m still not sure I get it. So was the thing on the building going to turn everyone into lizards? Because… that will make people… less vulnerable to disease or something?

Denis Leary is this movie… because why?
I assume that Leary’s show, Rescue Me, gives him an identification to the rest of the United States as an authentic New Yorker and the producers figure, “Fireman, policeman, what’s the difference?” but the difference is, a comic book movie isn’t the sort of thing where Leary can get by with playing himself. He’s not especially bad in the film, he’s just not right for the part and his character is poorly written anyway.

Somebody get Spidey a band-aid.
I get that this is a grittier take on Spider-Man than last time, but sheesh, every time I look at the guy, he’s bleeding. Isn’t he, like, super human? Shouldn’t he be able to handle damage a bit better? I would think that, judging from his external injuries, he must be suffering a zillion internal injuries, but he’s not exactly spitting up blood, so make up mind, movie!

The Amazing Spider-Man is a decent movie, but I didn’t love it. The most telling thing I can say regarding how I feel about this flick is I had to stop watching the movie and I wasn’t dying to finish it. I usually can’t stand to leave a story hanging, but this one took me maybe a week to get back to as I just didn’t really care how it ended. If you love comic book and/or action movies, I’d say check this out, but it’s probably a pass for everyone else. I give it a 6 out of 10.

About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of, and editor in chief of

Posted on June 10, 2013, in comic book reviews, movie review and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

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