Protesting the Westboro Baptist Church (New Years Resolution)

Now that 2013 is in full swing, it’s time for everyone to start executing their New Years Resolutions.  One I’d like to recommend is protesting the Westboro Baptist Church.  (Be warned:  bizarre content after the jump…)

If you don’t know, the Westboro Baptist Church is an independent group that hates Jews, Gays and Lady Gaga, and they think the best way to express these views is to make rainbow-colored signs featuring hate speech about these topics.


OK, this one doesn’t have a rainbow color scheme, but you get the idea.

The above image features Megan Phelps-Roper, who seems to be their spokesperson.  I think her dad runs the Westboro Baptist Church, so it’s a family affair.  (One that is presumably filled with a lot of time making signs.)  She’s the kind of a-hole that posts random bits of scripture on her twitter feed and prominently mentions her website, which has the most subtle domain name of all time,


Also, she’s some kind of sign appendage monster. I would have thought the max number of signs a person could display at once was two, but look! Four!

The Westboro Baptist Church does a lot of classy stuff – like protesting funerals, which seems like the most pointless protest ever.  Maybe I’m just a lazy dude, but I wouldn’t protest Hitler’s funeral.  What for?  He’s dead.  He’d never know.  In any case, several states have passed anti funeral protesting laws, and there’s even one federal law that prohibits protesting military funerals.  I’m sure that at one time or another,  you’ve heard about a law and said, “That’s ridiculous.  Why does such a law even exist?”  It’s these guys – people like this cause us to create all sorts of stupid laws that seem like common sense (like don’t protest at funerals), but some people need a bit of help, hence legislation.

Lots of people do fight back against the Westboro Baptist Church, and this is what I’d like to encourage everyone to do going forward.  WBC is a small organization, but they make a lot of noise.


“I’m here! I hate you! I… guess I’m the only one. Huh. This is the lamest protest ever.”

People come out in force against them, and that’s something that should continue.  When the WBC protests gays, a counter protest (which occasionally features some dudes making out) will usually spring up.  When the WBC protests funerals, people will often stand in front of them and block them from the view of mourners.

My favorite counter protests are the ones that feature hilarious signs.


He sure does, sir. He sure does.

Just make a silly sign and go stand with them.  That’s it.  Here are some suggestions for Westboro Baptist Church counter protest signs:

  • Why did God make Green Lantern so shitty?
  • I hate Mondays
  • Dude, that lady is holding 4 signs!
  • I’m with stupid
  • I lived in Florida and voted for Ralph Nader in 2000.  My bad.
  • Skinny jeans are unpractical
  • Yes, my arms ARE getting tired
  • Mourn for your SIGNS
  • God hates FIGS (unless you’re constipated – then He says go for it)
  • Beers at sporting events and concerts cost too much!
  • God hates Jar Jar Binks (Surely we can all get together on that)

Anyone got any other suggestions?

On the other hand, Canada and the United Kingdom have come up with more elegant (and less funny) solutions – they have simply banned WBC members from entering their countries.  That works, too, but again, no opportunity for funny signs…

It’s almost February, and I’m sure the WBC has a protest coming up somewhere, so don’t forget to get out there with a sign that proudly proclaims “Team Edward?  Team Jacob?  They’re both FUCKING MONSTERS!”

About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of, and editor in chief of

Posted on January 23, 2013, in observations and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. What about Sweet Chili Doritos, do you think God hates those too? BTW I’m addicted to those now thanks to you…

    • If I’m sure of anything in this life, it’s that God loves spicy sweet chili Doritos – and it is my plan to get everyone addicted to them so the only Doritos I can eat don’t get taken off the market!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: