Oh Republicans, you so CRAZY (Or: Why Ryan and Christie?)
So… let me see if I can understand this.
Mitt Romney has chosen Paul Ryan to be his running mate. When I heard this, I said, “Who? Oh, wait… now I remember – that fucking guy? That’s crazy.” From a practical standpoint, it just doesn’t make sense to set up an all white/male ticket at this point in American history. (I’m sure if I pointed this out to GOP leaders, they’d bring the fact that Romney is a Mormon and Ryan is a Catholic to my attention, to which I would just stare back at them, blankly.) The United States is more diverse now than it ever has been before, and it’s only going to get more diverse going forward, so I don’t see why they’d go with an all cracker ticket, particularly when they could’ve just grabbed Marco Rubio. (I’m sure there are a bunch of pissed of Cuban Americans down in Miami right now trying to figure out why they keep voting Republican…) Also, Paul Ryan is the crazy budget guy: switching medicare to a voucher system, lowering taxes on the rich (because who needs revenue when your country has an insane amount of debt), cutting Pell Grants by $170 billion (because school is for elitists!)… you know, Paul Ryan. The guy who, in 2005, said: ““[T]he reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand.” He’s taken that back since, despite saying he regularly gave her books as Christmas gifts as recently as two years ago… so yeah. Paul Ryan. I don’t get it.
Speaking of things I don’t understand, why would they pick Chris Christie as the keynote speaker at the Republican National Convention? I imagine they just flipped through a list of American governors and asked themselves… “Hmm… what state has an unemployment rate at least a point higher than the national average AND grows a lot of eggplant? BOOM, New Jersey! Start reinforcing the stage! Get Jabba on the phone right away!”
I imagine their plan for the convention is to introduce their all white candidates and speaker to their all white audience (except like one token guy in the crowd clapping that FOX will keep cutting to) and shout things like, “Victory in November! Lower taxes for some! Miniature American flags for everyone!”