SOMEBODY Hates Him
Posted by Jamie Insalaco
Advertising has always fascinated me – even as a kid, I was interested in commercial jingles. Jingles were a big deal back then – Coca-Cola was busy back peddling from their “New Coke” recipe, so they always wanted to remind us that you “Can’t beat the real thing,” which in turn meant that they had to re-brand their original product as “Coca-Cola Classic.” Rice-a-Roni was “the San Francisco Treat,” and those mother fuckers would never let you forget it. Ever. They ran that shit right into the ground, over and over – that jingle is just as imbedded in my brain as the theme song to He-Man, Thundercats and all 7 notes to the theme from Voltron. (Who would have guessed the defenders of the universe would be such lazy composers?)
These days, it’s all about advertising on the internet, and I am so fucking sick of these “Derp-a-derp hate him!” ads that are everywhere of late. I know the internet thinks we’re idiots, but these ads are ridiculous. Who would click on such a thing? Does anyone, no matter how gullible, really believe you can learn a language in 10 days? And what the hell monopoly does Obama own? Does he buy up all the railroads in Monopoly or something? I’m pretty sure the president supports every type of energy out there, including nuclear power… and he owns the hotels on Baltic Avenue or something.
Anyway, consider clicking on these ads – odds are, every time you do, the person who put them up gets charged some nominal fee, and if you don’t actually buy anything, eventually, they’ll realize the ad doesn’t convert. Now notice I said that you should consider doing this – you shouldn’t actually do it for two reasons:
- who knows what kind of tracking cookie will end up in your browser if you click on a banner ad
- clicking on an ad you have no interest in just to charge the person who posted it is, technically, fraud – and you’re much too upstanding a citizen for that
So just do what I do – give the computer screen the finger every time you see one of these ads. It doesn’t accomplish anything, but it’ll make you feel better.
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About Jamie InsalacoJamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com
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