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Monthly Archives: July 2012

Why does NBC SUCK so bad at broadcasting the Olympics?

john-mcenroe-interview-ryan-lochte-nbc-olympicsClick here for the updated Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics edition!

I’ve been watching the Olympics coverage on NBC – or rather, I’ve been trying to.  Almost every time I turn it on, it’s Bob Costas, talking to the camera or interviewing someone who is an analyst or fellow broadcaster of some kind… like when they sent tennis great John McEnroe to interview Ryan Lochte at his Florida home.  That was genius.
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We’re STILL The Munsters

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“We’re the Munsters!”

As a kid, I had a passing interest in reruns of The Munsters, a half assed comedy and full assed rip off of The Adams Family from the mid 1960s.  I’d watch episodes and think sarcastic thoughts like, “Oh, they’re the MUNsters…  instead of MONsters.  I get it.  I get IT!  That’s very clever.”

Also, I liked the theme song very much.  It’s surfer-ific. Read the rest of this entry

Valet Parking at the Mall

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“Whoa, slow down there, folks!  I know valet parking at the mall seems like a misnomer, but we’ll find spaces for everyone…  Somehow…”

Sarcasm.  You know I love it.

CreativeJamie.com Dictionary: Pimpident

creative-jamie-com-dictionaryPimpident

To accidentally dress like a pimp, prostitute or other person of ill fame

He wore a shirt darker than his suit, giving him the appearance of a pimp, despite not dressing as such with purpose – a pimpident.

The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now.  I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words.  I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

Amy’s Mac and Cheese needs help with their packaging

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I can see that these two boxes are different, but they’re not different enough.  When you sell both vegan and non vegan products, can a brother get a different color box up in this bitch?  Very weak, Amy.

Very weak.

“I’m Married to Batman!” Ep. 4 [Video]

Click here to see the “I’m Married to Batman!” episode list.

Here’s the fourth episode of “I’m Married to Batman!”    This episode pays homage to the last line  from Batman Begins.    That one always sticks with me. Read the rest of this entry

Wedding Table Numbers

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Except my cousin was like, “Fuck YOU, wedding table numbers!  Numbers are assholes.”  I tend to agree, and so instead, she went with various words that symbolize the bonds of marriage.  As you can see, Dr. Girlfriend and I were seated at the loyalty table – it kinda has a Disney World parking lot effect, which I like.

Also fuck numbers.

Taco Bell retires Fire Roasted sauce

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I’m a big taco bell fan, but more than that, it’s essentially the only place to get vegan fast food.  While I do like the new bigger size guacamole, I’m very sad that they have retired the fire-roasted sauce.  I thought this was their best, most interesting sauce EVER, completely dominating the verde sauce – which is still available, by the way, in all of its boring glory.

Fine, Taco Bell – have it your way!  Since you’ve got me by the short ones, I can’t protest, boycott or anything liked that… but I sure wish you’d bring back the fire-roasted sauce.

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CreativeJamie.com Dictionary: Bizouncester

creative-jamie-com-dictionaryBizouncester

To leave on gangster related business.

When one leaves, they bounce.  If they leave on business, they bizounce.  If they leave on gangster business, they are a bizouncester.

The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now.  I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words.  I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

SOMEBODY Hates Him

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Advertising has always fascinated me – even as a kid, I was interested in commercial jingles.  Jingles were a big deal back then – Coca-Cola was busy back peddling from their “New Coke” recipe, so they always wanted to remind us that you “Can’t beat the real thing,” which in turn meant that they had to re-brand their original product as “Coca-Cola Classic.”  Rice-a-Roni was “the San Francisco Treat,” and those mother fuckers would never let you forget it.  Ever.  They ran that shit right into the ground, over and over – that jingle is just as imbedded in my brain as the theme song to He-Man, Thundercats and all 7 notes to the theme from Voltron.  (Who would have guessed the defenders of the universe would be such lazy composers?)
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CreativeJamie.com Dictionary: Enerficiency

creative-jamie-com-dictionaryEnerficiency

To move in a way that conserves energy; to move about the room in an efficient manner.

He left the dinning room as enerficiencently as possible, carrying both the plates and serving dishes all in one trip while additionally turning the light off with his elbow.

The CreativeJamie.com Dictionary is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to until now.  I had a writing college in class during which one assignment challenged us to make up our own words.  I sucked at it (hard), but I loved the idea, so I’m giving it a go now.

Penn State got off light

Let Wikipedia take you back to the 80s, when another college football scandal rocked the NCAA: Read the rest of this entry

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