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YOLO, FTW and Other Reasons I’m Old

grandpa-simpson

“I used to be `with it.’ But then they changed what `it’ was. Now what I’m `with’ isn’t `it,’ and what’s `it’ seems weird and scary to me.” Word up, brother. Word up.

Speaking of colloquialisms, I don’t have any idea what anyone is talking about anymore.  I’m technologically savvy, and obviously, technology has changed the way we communicate, but there are things happening in language that I’ve missed.  My English degree is now obsolete, or useless.  Or both.
Things are happening, the language is changing.  Can I adapt?  It’s… possible.  You know, like in a typical episode of Star Trek:  The Next Generation, when Captain Picard would be all, “Hey Levar Burton, modify the main deflector dish to do stuff that it wasn’t designed to do,” and he’ll be all, “I can do it – theoretically.  But it’s going to take at least two weeks, and we don’t have that kind of time.  Reading Rainbow.”  I might be able to adapt, but by the time I do, I won’t have anyone left to communicate with.  Also, I just referenced a scenario from a TV show that has been off the air for 20 years, so not only am I dork for referencing ST:  TNG (yeah, when I’m slanging with my homies, it’s just TNG), but I’m also right on the cutting edge of entertainment what with my decades long gap in knowledge of sci fi entertainment.

Deep Space Nine?  What the hell is that?

Friend of the site Nurse Becky said ‘FTW’ to me in an email the other day.  I was too embarrassed to tell her that I had no idea what she was talking about (the proverbial cat is out of the bag now), but this is confirmation that at least one contributor to this blog is hip.  I finally caved and looked up FTW and found out that it means ‘For The Win.’  It’s already clear to me that I don’t know what context to use this term as the examples I’ve seen don’t make any sense to me.

  • Snap bracelets FTW!
  • Zima FTW!
  • Your Mom FTW!

As it turns out, knowing what FTW stands for isn’t enough – in context, it seems to mean:

  • “This is a great bracelet!”
  • “This is a great drink!”
  • “I desire sexual relations with your mother!”

So it’s not literally referring to a game winning event in a sporting contest – it’s not a Marv Albert styled, “At the buzzer!” kind of thing.

marv-albert

“Oh! Some kind of buzzer strapped to my junk! YES!  AND IT COUNTS!” Another topical reference.

I think I’ve got FTW down.

If you held up a card that said “YOLO” on it and asked me what it meant just a few days ago, I think I’d respond without hesitation, “Fat free yogurt.  In some sort of easy to eat out of tube.”

yogurt-in-a-tube

This shit.

As it turns out, “You Only Live Once” kind of makes sense to me.  I guess you can’t apply it to multiplayer James Bond’s “You Only Live Twice” or the movie of the same name (at least the game is a reference to the 1990s), but I can see how this would come in handy in today’s society.  For example, someone might post something on Facebook like:  “Best friend wants me to go skydiving with him.  Should I go?” and his posse could be like, “YOLO!  Skydiving FTW!”

Maybe I’m going to be OK after all.  LOL!  I’m adapting to the 21st century!  BRB!  ROF LMFAO!  LADY GAGA!

By the way, snap bracelets have made a comeback in the last few years, so suck it, linear time!

more Observations at

creativejamie.com/category/observations/

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on April 21, 2012, in observations and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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