People Who Obviously Hate Themselves: Cheesy Blasters


Damn you, Meatcat... damn you to hell!

If you don’t watch 30 Rock (you should, by the way), this is what a Cheesy Blaster is:

“You take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, fold it in a pizza – you got Cheesy Blasters!”

But now, it’s sort of becoming a thing:

What temperature did you preheat your brain to?  Think of your colon – your poor, defenseless colon!  Fat free hotdogs are not going to help when you combine those nitrates with PIZZA!  And who said anything about nacho cheese?  (For those of you who don’t know, Publix is a super market chain that I’ve only run across in Florida and yes, to my recollection, they are the best supermarket chain to be found in the Tampa area… or the Orlando area, for that matter.  Let’s all say a silent, Floridian Prayer for Goodings…)  Oh and by all means, add more unnecessary oil – that’s genius!

“We came to the conclusion that they tasted a lot like pigs in a blanket.”

That’s probably because they are pigs in a blanket – all you did was add two kinds of cheese and tomato sauce.  I’m also assuming the real reason they didn’t film themselves eating the Cheesy Blasters is because the three of them immediately got a case of the cheesy blasters.

The Cheesy Blasters Facebook page has over 1000 likes – this is way too many!  I’m not a big fan of eating healthy, exercising or doing things that will necessarily increase your lifespan or quality of said life, but for the love of all that is decent and pure, don’t do this to yourself!

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About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of, and editor in chief of

Posted on February 16, 2012, in observations. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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