New Hampshire Primary: Beggars CAN Be Choosers

The latest Suffolk University Poll shows former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney holding a commanding lead going into tonight’s New Hampshire Primary. So, the “Anybody But Mitt” primary season is heavily favoring… Mitt Romney.  Makes sense.

I can’t get too excited about what the folks in New Hampshire think; after all, nobody lives there. (New Hampshire ranks 42nd in population amongst US states.) In an open election year (such as 2000 or 2008) they can only round up about 400,000 participants, and when only one party is choosing a candidate, it’s closer to 250,000 voters. To put that in perspective, it’s like 10% of Brooklyn residents decided to get together and pick a presidential candidate. (I bet the Beastie Boys would get a handful of write-in votes.)

In case you’re wondering what people who base their votes on whether or not they actually get to meet the candidate are thinking, here’s the latest data and what is says about the voters for giving their vote to a particular candidate:

mitt-romneyMitt Romney (37%) – You just don’t give a flying fig. Your motto is, “Anybody but the black guy.” It has to me – Mitt Romney is the Constant Flip-Flopper and is something like 5-18 lifetime in elections, so it’s not like he’s a proven winner – you just heard somewhere he has the best chance to beat Obama of anybody in the field, which I doubt is true.

Ron Paul (18%) – You want a consistent candidate, even if he’s a little extreme. I can see that – although he should probably get around to disavowing those racist news letters. He’s not my cup of tea, but he’s a decent man.  For a politician.

Jon Huntsman (16%) – You want to vote for an actual human being.  A decent, reasonable man; I think this guy could do serious damage in the election, but he’ll never win the nomination, so it’s not worth talking about.

Rick Santorum (11%) – You want a candidate that talks about family values in an election that should be about the economy. Good luck with that.

Newt Gingrich (9%) – My personal favorite, Newt is the ultimate in everything that is wrong with the Republican Party. Sure, he resigned from Congress in disgrace after paying his ethics fines and wasting America’s time with the impeachment of Bill Clinton, but you’ll vote for him anyway. Because you’re classy.

Rick Perry
(1%) – Seriously, you’re voting for this guy? This guy couldn’t find his own junk with two hands and a flashlight. I don’t know what you’re thinking.

Buddy Roemer (1%) – You know who Buddy Roemer is. Good for you!

Undecided (7%) – I feel ya; this pack isn’t very appealing. In the end, you’ll just end up doing “eeny meeny miny moe,” and I don’t blame you

more Lists at creativejamie.com/category/lists/

more Election 2012 at creativejamie.com/category/election-2012/

About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on January 10, 2012, in election 2012, lists and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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