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Monthly Archives: October 2011

Happy Halloween!

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I bought this guy at Disney World last Halloween – ‘boo to you’ style.  He was filled with popcorn at the time and only a available during the Halloween portion of the day (Mickey’s Not So Scarey Halloween Party) – which was a separate admission at night, but was totally awesome. 
Anyway, just thought this guy was awesome and I wanted to share.  Have a fun, SAFE holiday. Especially if you’re dealing with Snowtober like me and have no heat and no power.

SNOWTOBER: Snow in October is BULLSHIT!

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I understand that living in the northeastern United States means putting up with my fair share of weather, but snow in October is not fair.  It’s BULLSHIT!  Damn global warming…

(FYI: global warming causes weather at both extremes.)

UPDATE: It’s getting worse! Several inches already.
Here’s some video.
UPDATE 2: By now, you know millions are without power (myself included) from tree damage. The only estimates I’ve heard are power getting restored by Wednesday, but it’s hard to trust anything right now.

We are American: Unfulfilled Dreams by William Perez

Dr. William Perez

Last night, I heard Dr. William Perez speak about the issues of undocumented students and the challenges they face.  This has been on my mind lately.

I heard an interview with a family on WNYC radio last week.  The kids were born here, but the parents were here illegally – I forget where they were from, but it did not sound like a good time.  The little girl said something like, “I heard my parents talking in Arabic and they said a word I didn’t know.  I looked it up and learned it meant ‘deported’ – that’s how I found out they were here illegally.”  The parents are being deported and can choose if the children go back with them or not.  So much for anchor babies.

Comparatively to children who immigrated here illegally, the above child has it easy.  Imagine you were brought here when you were three years old.  You go to school and the day you bring home the SAT application and ask your parents for your social security number…  that’s when you find out.  You’re here illegally and unless you can change your status, your future is in serious jeopardy at best.

Dr. Perez talked about living a life I never imagined in my dizziest nightmares  – imagine trying to deal with issues like this while you were going to college…  it’s almost too much to think about.  Yet the data shows that many students in this situation do well in school and go on to be productive members of society.

In 2010, The Dream Act failed in the US Senate by 5 votes, but many states have enacted similar laws already.  We’re getting closer to where we need to be, but we aren’t there yet.  Hell, even Governor Rick Perry of Texas supports similar legislation in his home state, and he apparently never goes jogging without a gun.

Dr. Perez’s book, We are American: Unfulfilled Dreams, drops in November – I plan on picking it up.

Adam Sandler Intervention – Jack and Jill

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I did not photoshop this in any way.

This is a real movie poster… for a movie called Jack and Jill… starring Adam Sandler… in both rolls.  He’s playing twins.  One of the twins is a girl.  Seriously.

And what’s wrong with Al Paccino, by the way?  Eh, we’ll get to that another day…  88 Minutes…

When you know someone for a long time, you come to feel responsible to tell them when they’ve gone too far.  As a former Adam Sandler fan, I feel that the moment has come.  Let’s take an abbreviated journey through Mr. Sandler’s Filmography and try to figure out where his train jumped the tracks.

Airheads – 1994
A supporting roll but a good one for him, this is Adam Sandler doing his less or more character, and it works.

Billy Madison – 1995
His first starring roll has Mr. Sandler doing what he does best.

Happy Gilmore – 1996
Here, Adam Sandler is showing us more of the same, but its all good – a crazier version of Billy Madison.  I think I’ll have Subway for dinner tonight…

Bulletproof – 1996
This movie flat out sucks.  Lesson learned:  never make a movie with a Wayans brother.

The Wedding Singer 1998
A nice mix of wacky comedy and romantic comedy, and one of the first playful looks back at the 80s.  Decent movie.

The Waterboy – 1998
This movie is horrendous!  How hard is it to screw up a movie with Henry Winkler and Kathy Bates?  Pretty easy, apparently.

Big Daddy – 1999
Not great, not terrible.  Way to brand Hooters restaurants!

Little Nicky – 2000
I can hardly understand what Adam Sandler is saying!  What food was branded in this movie, a pizza chain?

Mr. Deeds – 2002
A completely forgettable remake that did not need to be made.

Punch-Drunk Love – 2002
I enjoyed this,  he showed a lot of heart in this flick, even if it was mostly just his ‘less is more’ character from Airheads.

Eight Crazy Nights – 2002
This movie is frigin great and is now part of my Christmas tradition.

Anger Management – 2003
Holy shit this movie is bad, despite Jack Nicholson.  Also, Derek Jeter is the worst actor ever.

50 First Dates – 2004
The best part of this movie is 311’s cover of Love Song by The Cure.

Spanglish – 2004
The mediocre reviews kept me away from this one.

The Longest Yard – 2005
The should have called this piece of shit movie The Longest Shit…  because it’s SHIT!

Click – 2006
Seriously?

Reign Over Me – 2007
I like this movie better the first time I saw it when it was called With Honors.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry – 2007
If I was gay, I would sue over this movie.  I still can’t believe it…  this movie would have had to come out the same year as Philadelphia to have made an impression on me…  because I was about 12.

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan – 2008
Sigh.  He’s doing an accent again.

Bedtime Stories – 2008
I bet Brendan Fraser was pissed when he heard about this.

Funny People – 2009
Not a bad movie, but sorta pointless.  The best part was when the guy told Adam Sandler to “Fight back!” and Sandler replied, “I don’t know how, I’m a comedian!”

Grown Ups – 2010
I saw the trailer.  That was enough.

Just Go With It – 2011
Jonathan Kim said it all.

Zookeeper – 2011
Another Happy Madison production, another shameless restaurant product placement.

Jack and Jill – 2011
This is it.  This the moment – when you catch yourself playing your own fraternal twin – if you can’t notice now that you’re standing on the edge of a cliff and step back, then hopefully somebody, anybody, will reach out pull you from the brink of insanity.

Somehow, that person is me.  Stop this madness, Adam Sandler.  It’s gone too far and it’s time to get help.  Admit to yourself you have a problem, and you’ve had a problem for a long time.

Once you can admit this to yourself, the healing can begin.

More Movie Reviews at creativejamie.com/category/movie-reviews/

Cake Pops

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The photo tends to overstate the size of these so called cake pops.  I can’t remember the last time I saw food on a stick so grossly overpriced.  Cake pops… sheesh!  What is the world coming to?  Can’t a brother get an ENTIRE SLICE OF CAKE?  Bad times, man…  bad times.

Attention Must Be Paid: Outsourced

outsourced-tv-nbcIf you’re new to the Attention Must Be Paid (AMBP) feature, here’s the deal:  when I run across something that I think is great and isn’t getting the props it deserves, I write it up in this space.  Unfortunately, AMBP is starting to become a graveyard of canceled projects, including Party Down and Air.  Today, we welcome Outsourced.

Outsourced was only on for one season (September 23, 2010 through May 12, 2011) and 22 episodes, but it left an undeniable impression upon my mind.  The characters and their stories resonated with me for reasons I can’t explain – but then, well written scripts will do that for ya.

The show follows the adventures of Todd, an American who is sent to India to manage a call center for a mail order novelty company…  I know, a fish out of water story is a little cliche, not to mention the fact that the show takes place in a contemporary setting where American jobs are being outsourced overseas and yet people are still buying stuff from mail order catalogs?  Whatever – it’s all about the characters and their relationships with each other.

Get Your Head Bobble On

I have to admit, I never thought I’d see a sitcom where they attempted to explain the head bobble… it’s just one of the great things about this show.  After working with many people from India and the Middle East, it’s refreshing to see people I know represented on TV fairly accurately.

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Madhuri, mid head bobble.

“What does it mean?”

“Sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes neither, sometimes both.”

Yeah, that’s exactly what it means!

Characters are AWESOME!

Initially, I thought I would talk about my favorite characters in this section, but frankly, I love all of the characters on this show – even Rajiv, the assistant manager you’re supposed to hate.  He’s deliciously evil, but his motives are pure – he needs to become a manager so he can prove his worth to the family of the woman he loves…  they all have great stories like that.  Madhuri, who is at first portrayed to be soft spoken and demure has a tremendous singing voice that could take her to places most of us only dream of, but she is happy with her job at the telemarketing company that pays enough to support her family.

I believe Outsourced was not renewed due to NBC’s own bungling – if they hadn’t moved the show’s time slot mid season, I doubt it’s rating would have fallen off so sharply.  To expect TV watchers to have such loyalty after barely half a season is asking a lot – particularly the audience that has a hard time choosing between this and The Mentalist.  In any case, I just don’t understand how they expected the NBC audience to watch three straight hours of sitcoms – especially since The Office and Parks & Recreation are almost the same show, even sharing some of the same actors.

Nevertheless, Outsourced is still available on Hulu for free and on DVD at Amazon – check it out!

My Five Favorite Things About Mitt Romney

Whether Republicans like him or not, Mitt Romney has again emerged as the front runner (despite whatever deal Herman Cain is offering on pizza) for the GOP nomination for President of these United States.  When the process started, I thought that Romney, who I knew next to nothing about, was a fine choice and actually had a chance to win.  After all, RomneyCare sounds a lot like ObamaCare, right?  Maybe he’d steal independent voters away from the President and after all, anyone who wants to make sure his constituency has healthcare is OK in my book.

Or so I thought.  Turns out, there are reasons why the Republicans were begging Christie the Hutt to run for president.

1.  Mitt Romney looks like a president
The last time he ran for president, I didn’t really notice Mitt.  Now, he’s not only the front runner, but I recognize him when I see him, which might be because he looks like the guy that usually gets cast in movies to play a fictitious president.  Check out how much he looks like the guy from that terrible National Treasure movie.

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BOTH: “Our hair is awesome!”

I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time having much confidence in anyone that puts their trust in Nicholas Cage.  I guess he didn’t see Ghost Rider.

2.  Mitt Romney signed the National Organization for Marriage’s insane pledge
Mitt Romney used to be pro Gay Rights and would write letters to the Log Cabin Republicans, supporting their cause (Ha, ‘log’ – I get it, that’s awesome!), but more on flip flopping later.  In any case, he doesn’t have their backs when it comes to marriage – at least not anymore:

from CBS News:

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has signed a pledge sponsored by the National Organization for Marriage promising to support a federal constitutional amendment “defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman.”

Wait, there’s more!

The pledge also includes promises to vigorously defend the Defense of Marriage Act in courts – something the Obama administration has decided not to do – and nominate Supreme Court and federal judges who “reject the idea our Founding Fathers inserted a right to gay marriage into our Constitution.”

Does the pledge really use the word, ‘insert?’ Because if it does, that’s awesome.  It’s just hard (awesome!) for me to believe that someone running for president signed this nonsense – well, I knew Michelle Bachman would – but all of them?  Anyway, if anyone wouldn’t sign, I thought it would be Mitt… but here we are.  I also like that Romney, as a Mormon, is signing a pledge to tell people who and how they can get married…  he knows he’s Mormon, right?  I know that the Mormon’s officially abandoned polygamy in the late nineteenth/early twentieth century, but that’s not exactly a long time ago.

3.  Mitt Romney thinks we’re not spending enough on our military and aren’t intervening enough in foreign conflicts.
I honestly don’t know what country Mitt Romney thinks he’s running for president in – maybe Canada?  I don’t know.  But he seriously believes we need to spend more on our military (despite the fact that we spend more than the rest of the world COMBINED, including China) and “Romney called for America to lead multilateral organizations and alliances.”  Does he seriously think we’re not doing that already?  Or just not enough?  Ugh.  Somebody get this guy a newspaper or an iPad or a functioning set of eyes and ears!

4. 
Mitt Romney has flip-flopped on basically every major issue Republicans have cared about over the last twenty or so years.
I think this is why the Republicans keep going on their ‘anybody but Mitt’ searches – ask John McCain about this!
Mitt Romney used to…

  • be Pro Choice – he’s Pro Life now
  • be for Gay Rights – he’s since signed the pledge
  • favor new gun laws – now he loves the NRA
  • favor campaign finance reform – now… “The American people should be free to advocate for their candidates and their positions without burdensome limitations.”
  • fuck it, if you want to read more, go here.

Or, enjoy some quotes from the man himself:

5.  Mitt Romney drove from Boston to Canada with his dog strapped to the roof of his station wagon.
In 1983 (when he was 36 years old), he put his Irish Setter, Seamus, in a crate, strapped the crate to the roof of the aforementioned station wagon, designed some sort of wind-shield to protect the crate and therefore make the journey more tolerable, and then hit the road.  Apparently, he had to make a quick pit stop when the dog shit himself and it rolled down the car windows.  This is not the stuff of internet rumor:  it’s true!

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Seamus: “If I don’t take care of these cats, Mitt will tie me to the roof of the space shuttle.”

If you were holding onto some sort of hope that Mitt Romney was an intelligent, candid man who could admit when he’s wrong… well, I’m sorry for you.

But on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania Thursday, Romney defended his chosen mode of transportation for the family dog.

“He scrambled up there every time we went on trips, got in all by himself and enjoyed it,” Romney said of the Irish Setter.

Yeah, Seamus enjoyed the trip up there, presumably right up until he shit himself.  Also, I think he just inadvertently admitted he put the poor dog up there more than once…  I really thought it was just the one time.
Bonus!  My favorite Mitt Romney quote:
“I began [hunting] when I was 15 or so and I have hunted those kinds of varmints [rodents, rabbits] since then. More than two times.”
So he’s been hunting for decades and is sure that he’s actually gone hunting ‘more than two times.’  That’s frigging AWESOME!

BONUS!  10 Things Mitt Romney’s Republican Primary Opponents Said About Bain

more Lists at creativejamie.com/category/lists/

more Election 2012 at creativejamie.com/category/election-2012/

The Best Soup EVER

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I have what you’d call a love/hate relationship with Whole Foods, but all is forgiven when they whip out the Curry Apple Pumpkin Soup.
This soup has everything:   it’s sweet, spicy and hearty – it’s full of flavor in a way that most things are not.  It’s a seasonal soup and I have no idea which WF stores carry it, but if you get the chance, I highly recommend giving it a try.

Grasshopper

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This grasshopper was relaxing on our back door.  He was a big sucka!

Attention Must Be Paid: Party Down

If you’re new to the Attention Must Be Paid (AMBP) feature, here’s the deal:  when I run across something that I think is great and isn’t getting the props it deserves, I write it up in this space.

For two glorious seasons and 20 hilarious episodes, Party Down brought a jaded bit of humanity to the service industry.  OK, I’m fawning – but the show is awesome!  Read the rest of this entry

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