Rambo 2008 Movie Review

ramboI don’t think it’s fair to say I had a bit of Sylvester Stallone Madness going a few weeks back, but seeing two of his movies within days of each other last September must be an indication of something…  Sly-itis, something like that.  It took me a long while to get to this one, but I saw Rocky Balboa in the theater, so after that, I was a bit gun shy… ugh, that’s a terrible pun.  But if you sit through all of Rambo, or John Rambo, or whatever the hell they’ve decided to call it, you might feel like you’ve come down with something.

spoiler alert

We find Rambo living in Thailand and selling snakes he captures in the jungle as well as acting as a ferrymen who rents out his own boat.  He reluctantly agrees to bring a group of missionaries and doctors into Burma via aforementioned river boat, and they don’t need a ride back for some stupid reason – so after dropping them off, Rambo heads home.  The missionaries’ never return and their pastor shows up and asks Rambo to bring a team of mercenaries to the spot on the riverbank where he left the missionaries.  The mercenaries don’t agree to let Rambo accompany them, preferring that he stays with the boat, but given that the movie is called Rambo, he follows them anyway and saves their entire crew from a squad of Burmese army.  Rambo half convinces, half threatens (“Live for something or die for nothing; your call!”) the mercenaries to come with him to the Burmese army camp where the missionaries are being held prisoner.  They break them out, of course, but the Burmese army figure it out quickly and come after them.  Why, I have no idea…  of what value are the prisoners to them?  Ransom?  I have no idea.  Rambo and Sarah are separated from the group, who eventually get captured, missionaries and mercenaries alike, and are about to be executed (the army chased the missionaries and mercenaries so when they caught them, they could execute them… doesn’t seem like it was worth the effort, and why did the capture the missionaries in the first place instead of just killing them on the spot?) until Rambo takes control of a jeep-mounted .50-caliber machine gun and open fires on the Burmese army, which literally shreds them to pieces.  The Karen rebels show up and aid Rambo, the mercenaries and the missionaries, and then Rambo disembowels the bad guy in charge.  The movie pretty much ends after that, with Rambo back home in the US, presumably going to see his father.

Rambo is a decent little movie, but it lacks drama.  You never get a sense of… well, anything.  Here are a few things I wish the movie would have conveyed:

  1. Is Rambo happy or not with his life at present?
  2. …a way to distinguish any of the missionaries from each other
  3. …a way to distinguish any of the mercenaries from each other
  4. …a way to distinguish any of the bad guys from each other

At no point do you ever worry about anything bad happening to Rambo.  The missionaries get captured right away, but I don’t care about them because I don’t know them and the same goes for the mercenaries.  It’d be great if something ever happened that the audience should care about – but it doesn’t.  Despite it’s gore (and there is a fair amount of violent gore), the movie is boring, yet unoffensive.  Rambo is watchable, but it won’t leave you craving another sequel.

My Rating:  2.5 out of 5

Unless you’re a die-hard action movie fan, or rather, a die-hard action movie starring Sylvester Stallone fan, you should probably skip Rambo.

About Jamie Insalaco

Jamie Insalaco is the author of CreativeJamie.com, BomberBanter.com and editor in chief of ComicBookClog.com

Posted on November 2, 2010, in movie review and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

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