Happy Birthday, you’re not dead!
When I was a kid, I always looked forward to birthdays. After all, I got toys and as I got a bit older, cash. How awesome was that? As a kid, I have to say I remember it being pretty awesome.
Now that I’ve gotten older, balder and am starring age thirty down, I’ve been thinking a lot about what a birthday celebration exactly means. I haven’t come up with an answer yet, but here some possibilities, each more horrifying than the next.
#1: You’re awesome, glad to have you around!
Maybe a birthday is supposed to be a celebration of you, and how you kick ass with your bad self. People like you, and you should like you too! Let’s acknowledge that fact with the giving of gifts that you want, don’t want, and in either case, probably don’t need. Again, awesome.
#2: We’ll sing “Happy Birthday,” but…
We’ll sing it the way it went down in Office Space. Oo, that’s a tough one. People forced to celebrate your birthday who only showed up to mark time until someone passed them a slim sliver of cake.
#3: Still not dead, huh?
Depending on your age, medical history and how much people like you, you might get a response like this. Less awesome. Does your birthday cake contain one or more ingredients you’re allergic to or that you don’t like? Also less awesome. People trying to poison or offend you on your birthday is definitely not awesome.
That’s all I’ve got so far, but after that last one, why go on?
Total word count for ‘awesome’ in this post is 8. Bet you thought it was higher, huh?