Darth Vader robber
Every once in a while, someone does something so dumb, it’s great. And every once in a while, I find a use for the NY Daily News.
Yep, some guy actually robbed a bank dressed like Darth Vader. How hilarious is that? However, in an incredibly unfunny twist, the man pulled a gun. What, no light saber? Weak, bro. That’s just weak. But still, only in Long Island. I imagine it went something like this:
VADER: [breathing: ho-haa] Put all of the money in the bag.
BANK TELLER: Are you serious?
VADER: Don’t underestimate the force!
BT: Seriously, buddy; get out of here before I call the cops.
VADER: The ability to summon the police is insignificant next to the power of the force.
VADER: Open the safe!
BT: I can’t; it’s time locked and the guys in the office don’t have the override key; we have to call corporate –
VADER: I want that money, not excuses. Just put the money you have in an empty computer paper box. Don’t fail me again, Bank Teller.
BT: I thought you said a bag…
VADER: I am altering the deal; pray I don’t alter it any further.
BT: It’s not exactly a deal…
VADER: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
VADER: Just give me the money or I will fucking shoot you!
BT: Oh come one; is that even a real gun?
VADER: The ability to-
BT: Ugh, OK, OK – here’s the money.
OK, he probably didn’t quote the movies the entire time… But, I bet he quotes episode III when he gets caught: “Nooooooooo!”
Posted on August 6, 2010, in observations and tagged bank robbery, darth vader, i am altering the deal pray i don't alter it any further, long island bank robbery darth vader, Star Wars. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.