The more I watch, the more I dig short films. Sure, it’s certainly a mixed bag in terms of quality, but it’s always fascinating. The Sundance Film Festival has pointed out 14 short films they’ve accepted that are also on YouTube, and we watched them all this past weekend. So, without further ado, let’s dig in!
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If you’re a regular visitor of CreativeJamie.com, then you’re probably tired of us constantly putting I’m Married to Batman! in your face. Well, we’re sorry about that. We have other ideas, we swear! But first, we did promise you Dancing Batman, so let’s get that out-of-the-way after the jump. Read the rest of this entry
This Christopher Valentine character’s video, "Elves – Learn how to Attract Real Elves to You!" has garnered over 144,000 hits and he seems to be serious about getting Legolas to come hang out in your backyard.
Now I like Orlando Bloom as much as the next guy – what can I say, the dude is pretty. Anyway, Christopher Valentine’s website, Myst of the Oracle (I would have called it "Mystery of the Oracle" because it sounds way cooler), features all sorts of… I dunno, stuff. For Example, it makes mention of Dr. Christian von Lahr conducting the first Michael Jackson interview 48 hours after "crossing-over," which I assume is charlatan speak for dying, so it’s not just "fairy tale creatures are real" with these folks. It’s like a channeling Elvis while riding a dragon sort of thing. I love the list of celebrity endorsements:
- John Gray, best-selling author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
- Gary Zukav, the best-selling author of "Seat of the Soul."
- Dr. Michael Beckwith, best-selling co-author of the book and video "The Secret"
- and Larry King.
I thought I was detecting a theme, but then… Larry King. Didn’t see that coming. I bet Dr. von Lahr did, though.
As far as I’m concerned, YouTube is the real magical place, where things like this can grow and thrive right next to .
Yep, that’s just what it is: offensively entertaining. Offentertaining, if you will.
My day got off to a rotten start, but this video turned it all around for me. Star Trek The Next Generation is one of those things of which I’ll never get tired, and jamescovenant‘s TNG/Let it Snow/Make it so mash-up is just what the doctor ordered. Fantastic stuff – I’m subscribing to this guy’s channel just based on this one video. That might be the lamest sentence ever, but if you’re big on YouTube, you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, subscribe – MAKE IT SO!
Christmas Cupid is, essentially, a comedic retelling of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, which is something I’m sure everyone has seen a million times before. (Most notably done via Scrooged starring Bill Murray, which I’ve never written about before… we’ll have to get to that this year!) All you really need to know is that this movie has some decent performances, the story isn’t terrible because it’s based on Dickens and the film drags a bit – it’s lazy and mediocre, but I’ve seen worse Christmas movies… A Nanny for Christmas… don’t think I forgot about you. Read the rest of this entry
I have a YouTube channel, so I guess this means that YouTube is going to send me emails from time to time. That’s fine (I guess). I also subscribe to a few people’s YouTube channels and sometimes, YouTube sends me a compilation mail of things people I subscribe to have uploaded most recently. Also fine (I guess). But just the other day, I received a mail I still can’t make heads or tails out of A.) it’s content and B.) why they sent it to me in the first place.
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Nearly every single video I’ve watched on YouTube in the last week or so has been preceded by this ad for Zoosk, which is some sort of online dating service. If I see that damn puppet one more time, I’m going to stab it right in the…
Uhm… face? Because its entire body seems to be made of a heart, so… I guess I’ll just keep stabbing it until it’s dead.
To be fair, t he commercial is kinda funny, but I’m totally sick of it. Why is Google targeting me with this ad? I guess because I’m a dude, and dudes are always looking for dates, I guess. Well whatever, Google – I’m very happy with Dr. Girlfriend – thanks for checking.
I’ve been to both Laguardia Airport and Charlotte Douglas International Airport in the last week and they both made strong impressions. Guess which was better?
It is now clear to me that I spend entirely too much time thinking about the laundry. And yet, I still often forget about it once I put it in the dryer… Read the rest of this entry
The new YouTube channel, WIGS, launches with three shows: Jan, Serena and Blue. It’s teasing an additional 17 other shows with similar names: Ro, Kendra and Ruth and Erica. You think they’re trying to hit the male demographic? Yeah, probably not. All I can find out about the channel is that all it’s shows will star female leads and their tag line is “WIGS. Where It Gets Interesting.” I guess “Lifetime, but on YouTube” doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Anyway, I’m too lazy to watch this stuff myself, so if anybody does check it out, let me know how it is.
I guess I just don’t have it together when it comes to the basics of life, because when it comes to routine chores, I’m easily confused. Read the rest of this entry
I shot this quick video with my Samsung Infuse 4G. This time, I uploaded the video directly to YouTube from my phone as opposed to the last video I shot with this my phone’s video camera, which I imported to my PC and then into Adobe Premier and finally uploaded to YouTube. I tend to not favor these sort of pointless videos, but it’s short in length and it’s fun to watch Conny run around like a crazy man – not to mention that this was a test I was interested to see the results of and will settle the question of whether or not I need editing software on my phone.
(Wow – video editing software on a cell phone. Things have changed since Zack Morris’ cell phone on Saved by the Bell!)
more Dog Videos at creativejamie.com/category/video/dogs-video/
If you haven’t heard the song that’s tearing up YouTube entitled, “Friday” by Rebeca Black, then congratulations, you have a deeply fulfilling life.
The rest of us aren’t so lucky. “Friday” is, in my mind, fairly standard in terms of the pop music that is targeted toward teens these days. Yet it seems that the rest of the internet thinks this is the worst song in the history of recorded music. I don’t think it’s a good song, but I wouldn’t go as far as to call it the damnation of mankind that others have. I think its equally bad when compared with other songs that make me want to gouge out my eardrums with a q-tip, so lets get our comparison on.
For three years in a row, my girlfriend and I have taken the same vacation together to visit our good friend Mickey Mouse. Sure, he’s a rodent and never says a word when we see him in person, but he’s really good about putting a shirt on when you drop in. We could go somewhere else, but what type of rides will they have there? What if the answer is, “Uhm, the Grand Canyon doesn’t have rides, sir… well, maybe a scenic tour or something. Or I could throw you into the abyss – no line, no waiting!” That sounds a little bit too much like the Great Movie Ride to me… at least the Studio Backlot Tour has water, air canons and fire. Anyway, we keep going back to Disney World, and it’s still awesome.
After watching Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit on YouTube, I had to check in with some associated videos to learn where some of the more ridiculous scenes came from The Wicker Man. I couldn’t resist – I actually watched The Wicker Man from start to finish, and in context, the scenes aren’t quite as funny as they are when edited together in the aforementioned video… instead, the highlights we’re shown from The Wicker Man seem like a string of bad film making decisions.
If you’re not familiar with The Wicker Man, here’s a crash course.
It’s a remake of a good movie from 1973 directed by Robin Hardy and starring Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee and Britt Ekland. The 2006 version is directed by Neil LaBute and starring Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn and Kate Beahan. The movie chronicles a California motorcycle cop’s (Mr. Cage) nonsensical, frustrating (for the audience, not just for Mr. Cage’s character) and at times boring journey. Mr. Cage’s character witnesses a horrible accident involving a station wagon he’s just pulled over and a tractor trailer. The station wagon bursts into flames after the collision, and Mr. Cage’s character is unable to rescue the little blond girl inside. During his recovery from this, he begins having waking (and… uhm, you know, sleeping) dreams about the little girl, after which are over he takes some nondescript pills that are never explained. Another cop comes by to visit him at his house and mentions that no bodies were found in the flaming wreckage and the car was not registered. Then he gets a letter from a former fiance asking him to come to the weird farming commune island she lives on off the coast of Washington to help her find her missing daughter. He begs a ride off the guy that flies in the imports/exports and starts asking questions, making no effort to be even slightly civil with the weird women he encounters or their strange drone like men who do not speak. (The female dominated society is a queen bee/worker drone metaphor kinda thing! With no talking for men!) He essentially yells all of his questions and if the women don’t answer, don’t give him the answer he wants or don’t answer fast enough, he asks again, louder. The women try to point out that he’s not in California and has no jurisdiction in Washington on their private property, but he quickly dismisses this as irrelevant.
There’s lots of meaningless double speak; first, the women won’t even admit the girl exists. Then he finds the girl’s name in the school attendance records. The teacher admits that the girl is what Cage’s character would consider dead (yeah, they believe in some sort of transferring spirit world thingy that is never explained) and she’s buried in an old abandoned church grave yard, as per the mother’s wishes. Mr. Cage’s character is pretty sure the girl was burned to death, sacrificed for the harvest… or something. Later, he gets permission to exhume the body, but all he finds is a burnt doll. (Hence: “How’d it get burned? How’d it get burned? How’d it get burned? How’d it get burned?”) Since he’s been on the island, he keeps thinking he sees or hears the girl, and this happens again; he ends up in the church’s basement, which is mostly flooded, and someone locks him down there over night. Somehow, he doesn’t drown, which is a huge stroke of luck for both him and the ladies. Finally his former fiance lets him out in the morning. Convinced the girl is still alive and will be sacrificed at the harvest festival, Cage punches a woman in the face and steals her bear costume. (Yes, you read that right, but let me convey that again, just so you are clear that this is what really happens in the movie: he punches a woman in the face and steals her bear costume!!!) On cue, the ladies and drone-men put the girl on a pyre, but Cage runs up in his disguise, punches another woman in the face and runs off with the girl. They run through the woods for a while until they come to a clearing, and the girl gets too far ahead for him to keep up – she’s a fast little girl! All the towns people are there and the girl runs to them, and the little girl asks her mom if she did it right… led him here, she means. They reveal to cage that they are sacrificing him in accordance to their ritual. Somehow, they got the bullets out of his gun… which is weird, because he checked his gun after the last time they would have had access to it. First they break his legs, have a bunch of bees sting him, then they put him in a giant wicker tower and burn him and some animals alive. They seem to allude that his former fiance had just left the island to get pregnant; she was never running away. Perhaps they’re also saying that the car from the accident didn’t have any bodies and was unregistered because they planned that too, somehow, so he’d be more likely to come to the island to try and save the little girl after he failed save a different little girl and as per the ritual, he had to come to the island of his own free will… or something. Anyway, that’s how the movie ends, with him burning to death. Imagine we could all get a fictional turn burning Nick Cage to death?!? That’d be something.
That’s not to say there aren’t any laughs In the Wicker Man, because there are. Nicholas Cage punching women in the face (or kicking them in the chest), running around in a bear costume, most of the dialogue spoken in scenes that take place on the island is generally funny… There are also those deliberate movie gags that are supposed to be scary but aren ‘t. He’s walking around in the upstairs part of a barn and falls through the floor and holds on for dear life until he drags himself back to the elevated level’s floor. Why the barn floor gave way, I have no idea. The barn, like the rest of the buildings on the island, seem to be in good order… he imagines he sees the car crash from the highway hitting a little girl on the ferry… he wakes up from a dream and he’s holding the girl’s drowned body, but then he really wakes up… lame.
I do think it’s worth mentioning that for all of Mr. Cage’s yelling, “They’re in my eyes! Ah! My eyes!” there are, in fact, no bees in his eyes. Maybe he meant to say that he could see the bees with his eyes… Ugh, this movie sucks. I can, at least, see things with my eyes: Nicholas Cage sucking at acting.
While James Rolfe’s career continues to bring him more opportunities the longer he persists, I still feel that he could use a shout out, and so, it’s time for Attention Must Be Paid, James Rolfe edition… or, in internet vernacular, AMBP: AVGN.
While wandering around the internet, I came across a video on YouTube that delighted me: the series was called, You Know What’s Bullshit? and the episode was called, Temperature. This, I am sure, is one of the greatest things to ever grace the YouTube servers.
“Potatoes are assholes; they’re so unpredictable.”
Has a better sentence ever been uttered? I think not. Potatoes are, in fact, assholes! (Sure, they’re not on corn‘s level, but what vegetable is?)
The Bullshit series is a work of art in itself, from part 1 to part 13. I was stunned with the quality of the writing, camera work and most of all, the superior editing. YouTube has so much fatty waste clogging up its mighty heart that its easy to get stuck in the muck of loathsome dreck, a sea of unedited video with awful pop music poorly mixed in the background, and the Bullshit series was a tremendous breath of fresh air; people really were putting quality video on YouTube. Who knew?
I soon found that I had engorged on the entire “You Know What’s Bullshit?” series (I’m also a big fan of the DVD sticker and DVD collection episodes) and yearned for more. The discovery that there was more ‘bullshit’ to be experienced beyond Temperature was a revelation in itself, but I had no idea what loomed just over the horizon.
The first episode I saw of The Angry Video Game Nerd was his review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the Nintendo Entertainment System. TMNT for the NES is the worst kind of video game; it gave us the opportunity to interact as our favorite genetically altered reptiles, and in the early levels, you see so much promise. Sure, the controls aren’t great, but it’s a fun game… at first. Then it starts to suck, and that’s where James Rolfe comes in.
It sucking fucks, it fucking sucks, it fucking blows, it’s a piece of shit… and I don’t like it.
Agreed, sir. Agreed.
If you were a gamer in the mid to late eighties and onward, then you know how revolutionary Nintendo was for those of us who were used to the classic Atari 2600 (or pretenders like the ColeocoVision), as was the Super Nintendo (I know this is an old debate, but Sega sucked. The Sega Master System and Sega Genesis were inferior pieces of hardware; we can debate game libraries till the cows come home, but when games came out on both systems, Nintendo wins hands down every time… hence Sega makes games for Nintendo now? Figure that one out!), the Nintendo 64, and so on. (I’ll take another quick second to say that for the most part, the Playstation is a load-time-cut-scene-infused paperweight.) That being said, Nintendo had it’s fair share of bad games, whether licensed or not, and The Angry Video Game Nerd is just the man to exorcise the video game demons that haunt our souls from both yesterday, today and tomorrow.
I feel that I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Mr. Rolfe’s other efforts, which can be found on his website at Cinemassacre.com. His other series, such as Board James, a partly informational series on Board Games, a convention I assume is going the way of the Polar Bear (his horror movie-esque short on Mr. Bucket is not to missed) or the annual Cinemassacre.com’s Monster Madness, which brings an assortment of monster movies to the forefront every Halloween, and I think any movie fan would enjoy, even if you’re like me and don’t spend much time watching horror, slasher or monster movies.
James Rolfe has taken the comedic review to strange and hilarious new places. Sure, it can be juvenile, profane and even downright disgusting, but that’s what makes it fun. In fact, I particularly enjoyed a long diatribe about how bad a game was involving excrement and… well, other things, after which The Nerd said, “That was foul; I apologize.” It’s over the top, it’s silly and it’s great. It’s also self aware, which may be the most important reason it works so well. The guy does a brilliant job connecting with the audience… maybe its just me, because Mr. Rolfe and I are the same age and from the same part of the country and come from a shared experience, but I think there is something for everyone in Mr. Rolfe’s catalog. Take a look, you’re bound to find something you like.
Unless you can’t tolerate profanity and vulgarity. Then you’re shit out of luck.