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Superman Unbound (quick movie review)

I can’t help but compare Superman Unbound to its vastly superior counterpart, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse. The plot of the two movies are so similar that I feel Superman Unbound doesn’t really need to exist. At the very least, we didn’t need these two movies just three or so years apart. Granted, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse has a lot more going on, but you can’t escape the fact that Superman Unbound follows the recent trend of boring DC Animated Universe movies, including Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox and Justice League: War. Read the rest of this entry

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Justice League: War (quick movie review)

Justice League: War is based on the first few issues from Justice League’s New 52 reboot in the comics a few years back. I thought it sucked back then, and it sucks now.

And by sucks, I mean this movie is boring.

Seriously, it’s really boring. I’ve seen this movie within the last month and I couldn’t remember the plot. At all. I had to look it up and then it came back to me. That is not a good sign. Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox wasn’t great, but at least I remembered what it was about. This… I didn’t care. The movie totally failed at getting me to care about how the Justice League gets together, if anything bad happens to the people of earth, the heroes… I don’t care. The only really memorable moment in the movie is when Batman tells The Flash "You do clean, efficient work."

Justice League: War is a snoozefest – I give it a 2 out of 10. How do you screw up a movie where the Justice League fights Darkseid for the fate of earth. Like this.

Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (quick movie review)

I gotta tell yah, these DC Animated Universe Justice League movies have gone way downhill.

I love the idea of time traveling to the past creating a mishap in the future, but frankly, Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox just doesn’t work. Nobody gives a rats butt about The Flash’s mom. I did like what they did with Batman here, but ultimately, this movie is a few bagels short of a dozen… or something something metaphor.

The characters in this movie… Oy, The Reverse Flash… he looks like The Zoid’s evil brother or something. This guy gives Wario a lot of credibility… you know what I’m saying? I guess I’m saying that the movie’s antagonist sucks and I’m not even sure how he’s aware of the paradox or why The Flash himself can’t figure it out. It’s just… well, this movie is ass is what it is.

It’s not boring, but I can’t recommend Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox. I’m giving it a 4 out of 10. There’s no rewatchability here and it’s barely worth a look for even hardcore fans.

Superman vs The Elite movie review (Mixers and Movie Reviews)

This video review is an outtake from our Man of Steel episode.

Here, we’re jawing about Superman vs The EliteI never really thought about it before, but this movie is sorta the anti Man of Steel.  In Superman vs The Elite, the Last Son of Krypton gets through a battle in traditional Superman fashion…  that is, he doesn’t do what The Man of Tomorrow does at the end of Man of Steel. Read the rest of this entry

Thoughts on Superman Returns (Mixers & Movie Reviews)

When we reviewed Man of Steel, we got off track a few times.  Here’s our discussion on Superman Returns. Read the rest of this entry

Superman movie false starts – Mixers & Movie Reviews

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Dan Conrad and I are back for another round of Mixers and Movie Reviews!  This time, we tackle the Superman movies that might have been.  Watch the video after the jump!

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Jesse Eisenberg will play Lex Luthor, Jeremy Irons Cast as Alfred in upcoming Batman-Superman Movie

I’m sure everyone has heard by now that Jesse Eisenberg will play Lex Luthor and  Jeremy Irons will play Alfred in upcoming Batman-Superman movie (that is rumored to be delayed because either Ben Affleck hurt his leg or they need more time to finish special effects).  I’m sure by now everyone is over their Batfleck trauma (note:  I was never effected by this as I’m an Affleck fan, if not always a fan of the movies he appears in) and Jeremy Irons sounds like a fine choice to play Alfred, but for some reason, I am anticipating the most controversy over Eisenberg’s casting.  I think he’ll do a fine job and probably provide levity as well as menace.  Still, I didn’t see this coming – although I probably should have…

Man of Steel movie review – Mixers & Movie Reviews Ep 5

Man of Steel movie review - Mixers & Movie

I’ve already reviewed Man of Steel in print, but this time, it’s a monster review with All Things Random‘s Dan Conrad!  Watch the video after the jump!

Read the rest of this entry

Nerd Gift Alert: Superman and Captain America Cookie Jars

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Holy shiz on a shield, it’s Superman and Captain America Cookie Jars! It took a lot of self control to not snatch up that Cap cookie jar when I saw it, so it’s probably still tumbling around out there in the wild somewhere.

Superman Halloween Costume

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The new Man of Steel movie changed the face of Superman, which is reflected in the above photo. Gone is the happy Superman who would always wave at the camera and get a cat out of a tree like it ain’t no thang. Even the little kids in Halloween costumes have to be brooding these days.  Such is the 20th century.

Superman 75th Anniversary Animated Short tells Dean Cain to get screwed

The new quick film "Superman 75th Anniversary Animated Short" shows every incarnation of Superman I can think of except one: Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

I spotted:

  1. The original, from Action Comics #1
  2. The first animated series
  3. The first live action series
  4. The more sci-fi era of Superman
  5. The more campy era of Superman
  6. The 70s/80s
  7. The Atari game
  8. Superman: The Movie
  9. Superman Animated Series form the late 90s
  10. Superman comics from the 90s, the death of Superman, the Reign of the Supermen, the return of Superman…
  11. New 52 Superman
  12. and Man of Steel Superman

But they couldn’t squeeze ol’ Dean Cain in there for some reason, despite the fact that it ran for 4 seasons and 87 episodes. It’s not like I’m crying foul over the omission of Superman Returns or something – Lois & Clark was a legitimate show on a major network for four years!

Have to wonder who Dean Cain pissed off… or maybe it was just an oversight.

Man of Steel toy – Superman gun

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So what the hell is this? Why would Superman need a gun? He’s Superman. And don’t try to tell me that it’s not supposed to be Superman’s gun – it has his “S” right on it!  And it’s clearly supposed to be from the film Man of Steel because it has the Henry Cavill’s likeness right on the box. I know that when you make a big movie like this you have to sell some toys too, but this baffles me.  Why a gun? Not only does Superman not need a gun, but even if he did, he would never use one. This is ass.

This coffee cup can’t handle me

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In case it is unclear, I am extremely jacked.   You can’t handle me, movies can’t handle me (except when they break my brain) and coffee cups definitely can’t handle me.  It’s like I’m Superman or something.
So watch out, Internet, because I’m buff – or maybe just don’t invite me over for tea.

16 points on Man of Steel (movie review)

man-of-steel-posterI desperately want everyone to refer to Man of Steel as Superman Returns Again. (For some reason, that is very funny to me.) Anyway, Man of Steel is a bit of mess (yet still entertaining), and so, my review is also just a rambling jumble of headings, a list that is trying to find its place on the internet, much like Superman trying to find his place in the world. See what I did there? Yeah, the movie is just as subtle as this review. Read the rest of this entry

Man of Steel cross marketing campaign makes me ill (Truth in Advertising)

man-of-steel-gillette-advertismentThis is the worst thing to happen to Superman since… I dunno…. Superman III?  Superman IV?  Superman Returns?  When Superman died in the 90s and then came back to life with a mullet?

I guess the implication is that he’s so strong that no razor would be up to the task of trimming his mighty hairs (except Gillette, apparently), but as for me, I don’t know how Superman shaves and I don’t care.   But I’ll play their game for a second.  Maybe he uses his super face muscles to retract or expel the unwanted growth.  (And, for that matter, how does he cut his hair?)  Maybe he bounces his laser eye beams off some super hard surface and does it that way.  Or, maybe it has something to do with him being an alien with super powers who doesn’t exist and when the script says he has a beard, he has a beard, and when it says he’s clean-shaven, he just is!!

Check out more Truth in Advertising posts

Superman vs. The Elite

superman-vs-the-eliteSince Batman:  The Animated Series debuted way back when, I’ve been a big fan of DC Comics’ animation wing.  They hit the bulls-eye almost every time.  However, the first 5 or so minutes of Superman vs. The Elite had me nervous, but slowly, the flick laid all of those fears to waste.

Read the rest of this entry

All Star Superman (quick movie review)

all-star-supermanThis is probably the oddest take  on Superman I’ve seen… Not from a charter standpoint, but from a story arc.  I enjoyed the flick, but it’s weird and in some ways, a little difficult to accept.  I’d say this movie is for Superman and comic book fans only, but it’s certainly worth a look for its audience. The story points are a bit telegraphed, but the action is there, which is important for this sort of movie.  I give All Star Superman a 7 out of 10.

It’s available on Netflix Instant.

Shaq Loves Superman

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I know this isn’t news, but Shaq really loves Superman; I thought he just had the tattoo, but it doesn’t end there. Read the rest of this entry

Kids Clothes with Capes?

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Why is the bat symbol all sparkly?

At first, I was thinking, “Yeah, that’s cool – if I had little kids, I would totally have them rock these,” and then I saw the back and lost my shit.

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The shirts come with Velcro attached capes.  They come with fucking capes!  Friggin’ awesome!

I was clearly born in the wrong century.

Wait a sec, why is Darth Vader an option?   What parent would want their kid to idolize Darth Vader?  See, he’s the fucking bad guy!  Nobody dresses their kids up like Lex Luthor or The Joker… do they?  Jeez, I hope not.  Let’s not create a generation of fucked up kids by telling them they should all try to be like Shredder or something.

Superman III – The Worst Movies Ever

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worst-movies-everI find that when cleaning out the fridge, there are two kinds of food items that are discarded:

  1. stuff that is too old to eat
  2. shit that’s been in there so long you can’t remember where it came from – and there is new shit growing on top of it – you don’t even open the container, you just throw that shit right in the trash

Superman III is the latter.  Seriously, this movie is worse than the 1990 version of Captain America.  How in the hell did they fuck up Superman this bad?
Read the rest of this entry

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